Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.
Amy Poehler
I used to work with mentally disabled people when I was 18 or 19, changing diapers and catheters. I was working, like, 16 hour night shifts, having to distribute meds and go capture people who would break out of the house. Sometimes they'd have seizures, and we'd have to rush them to the hospital. That was an interesting time, very humbling.
Anderson Paak
Changing diapers is one of the most leveling things that has ever happened to me.
Andrew Lincoln
When I sent those scripts, that was the lowest point of my life. We'd just had our second son, and when I went to collect them from hospital, I went to the bank to try and get some money to buy some diapers, the screen showed I've got $26 left.
Ang Lee
No one likes change but babies in diapers.
Barbara Johnson
If you were out of a job and your kid needed diapers and your husband just left you, you would be so confused.
Barbara Steele
As we have seen again and again, when Amazon doesn't get the economic conditions from suppliers that it seeks, it simply goes its own way. In the book business, that has meant publishing its own titles under the various Kindle imprints. Now it's making diapers.
Brad Stone
Bryan and I plan to use reusable diapers. There are a lot more options than before. We know it won't be as convenient, but we want to do it to help the planet.
Brie Bella
Winning the green jacket is great - I can pay for all the diapers I'm going to have to get.
Bubba Watson
I'm like a Mr. Mom. I get up and help out, getting the milk together and changing diapers. I've even learned to mix baby formulas and stuff like that.
Bushwick Bill
When you become a parent, you start loving diapers.
Chance The Rapper
I was in diapers when my parents left me with the babysitter to participate in an armored car robbery. They never came home.
Chesa Boudin
Moms get their fair share of conflicting advice, with a heaping of unsolicited advice. Parents debate the pros/cons of different types of disposable diapers, whether the supposed carcinogens in Johnson & Johnson baby products hurt their kids who used it, which method of sleep training to use.
Christine Tsai
As an older dad who grew up in a rural culture in the South, certain things were expected of women, and that included raising the children. But I think it's just as important for the father to give the baths, to hug, to change the diapers, to tell the stories.
Clyde Edgerton
I learned real fast that you need to have a plan of action when changing diapers, or it can get dicey fast.
Coy Bowles
I'm a good dad. I'm an evolved dad. You know, you see a lot of guys when they're in training camp, they go off, do their own thing. But I'm in the midst of it. Swim lessons? I'm there. Changing diapers, teething, doctor's appointments, I'm there 24/7.
Demetrious Johnson
One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: don't change diapers in midstream.
Don Marquis
With two little boys in diapers, I had to keep it simple if I were going to have a life at all.
Esther Williams
Heroes don't wear diapers. It's just not cool.
Felix Baumgartner
The real Michael Jackson that has not been seen... with children, one in diapers, the other two toddlers.
Geraldo Rivera
To me, full-time mothering felt like way too much and yet not nearly enough. Lost in a landslide of diapers, birthday parties, and others' needs, I ached to reestablish myself.
I've raised Michael. I changed his diapers when he was little.
I have videos of me playing basketball in diapers.
Lloyd Alexander's tales were written and published when I was in diapers. Decades later, they remain utterly timeless for me. I cannot recommend them enough.
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
When I started out on 'Min Kamp', I was so extremely frustrated over my life and my writing. I wanted to write something majestic and grand, something like 'Hamlet' or 'Moby Dick,' but found myself with this small life - looking after kids, changing diapers, quarreling with my wife, unable to write anything, really.
I met Cynthia when I was 12, proposed at 16, became engaged at 17, married her at 19 and we had a baby when I was 20. If extra work could pay for a lot of diapers, that was for me.
No one's raising children any more. To love a child, you've got to work for it. You have to change its diapers and feed it at night!
I don't know that I'm going to entirely do cloth diapers. I'd like to be ambitious about it, but in all honesty, I can't say that I will.
We have to start spreading that news - that real men change poopy diapers and coach the soccer team and let their daughters paint toenails all kinds of colours.
I'll tell you my routine - it's really exciting. I feed, I burp, I change diapers, I pump. And then I have a tiny window of time to myself.
I don't believe in that kind of American John Wayne individualism where people pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Someone changed your diapers. And if that's the case, you ain't self-made.
I first went to Cambodia in 2002, primarily, as it turned out, to change diapers. My wife had work in Phnom Penh, and thus left with her driver and translator early each morning and returned later each night, while I took care of our firstborn son, who was 2 at the time.
It's time for a 21st-century retirement age. If 40 is the new 20 and 50 is the new 30, why shouldn't 70 be the new 65? The last time Washington politicians tinkered ever so gingerly with the government-sanctioned retirement age, Ronald Reagan was in office and Generation X-ers were all in diapers.
I suffered from a mild case of postpartum depression after my second child and the physical challenge of maintaining an overnight shift at CBS, a marriage, and two in diapers made the symptoms worse and everyone in the house paid the price.
I left Israel to work as a model, to just make money - I didn't care if I was doing an ad for toilet paper or diapers, I just really wanted to allow myself to go to school, to go to university without waitressing, because when I'm in a school environment I just really like to study and have the best grades and learn as much as I can.
Real men change diapers!
Early childhood offerings vary, but everywhere in Europe and in Canada, they're far more generous than in the United States. Ukrainian dads may not change enough diapers, but their government offers paid maternity leave; practically free preschool; and per-baby payments equivalent to eight months of an average salary.
In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot.
I knew Roman Reigns when he used to come into the locker room with his father, holding his father's hand, barely out of diapers. And I don't say that as an ironic statement... I mean it sincerely.
American women are so fortunate. When I got married, all I wanted in the world was a dryer so I didn't have to hang up my diapers. And now women have paper diapers and all sorts of conveniences in the home. And it is the man and the technology that has made the home such a pleasant place for women to be.
At the Superdome, a young man came up to me holding a baby. He'd run out of diapers. He'd run out of medicine. His baby was sick. The guy's saying, 'Help me! Take my baby.' What could I do? That's the definition of helpless.
Having twin girls is a life changer - that's for sure. But I like getting up and changing diapers. It's the things you do.
I didn't live the lifestyle of the rich and famous. My diapers were nappy cloth. I didn't live in a big house.
I'm pretty sure that changing diapers of all sizes isn't the kind of women's work Betty Friedan had in mind, nor Linda Hirshman.
When I became a mother, I was trying so hard, using reusable diapers, washing them, looking for organic supplies even though it's much more expensive, and facing so many challenges attempting to do the right thing.
I didn't expect babies to need so many diapers. Nobody told me they needed to be changed so often.
My oldest boy, when I do skip, he's gonna take over my slot. He was sitting on the stair in diapers wearing my mask with sticks while we were downstairs trying to learn how to be a band.
I didn't know you had to change diapers so often. I couldn't believe it - we must change them 10 times a day - each. So that's 20 diapers a piece a day.
This paradox of vision - the genius of youthful ignorance - is nothing new. Had Bill Gates not been in diapers in the early days of computer software, he might have understood that there could never be a market for consumer software - but the 19-year-old Gates went ahead and cofounded Microsoft.
