Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.
Trey Parker
There is nothing we can't do. So it's just the fact that we're doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won't touch, that we're satirists.
Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb?
A lot of people don't realize this, but probably the one person that gets made fun of in 'South Park' more than anybody is my dad. Stan's father, Randy - my dad's name is Randy - that's my drawing of my dad; that's me doing my dad's voice. That is just my dad. Even Stan's last name, Marsh, was my dad's stepfather's name.
If you're famous, you suck, just for being famous. People in England totally get that; Americans don't.
The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, really. And it's really terrible in about the second act.
You can't make experimental work by copying past work.
Out of all the ridiculous religion stories - which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous - the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah, there's this big, giant universe, and it's expanding, and it's all going to collapse on itself, and we're all just here, just 'cuz. Just 'cuz.' That to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever.
Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable.
If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you'll see a homeless person standing in the middle of their nice, beautiful square, holding out a cup for change. And the Mormons don't ever ask him to leave.
I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny.
I can feel myself dying inside.
I spend shockingly little time thinking about real-world stuff.
Colorado's right next to Utah - you know, Mormon Central.
Once you have kids, you think like a parent. You get a lot more protective.
When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado's a redneck with a gun and all this stuff.
I bought a house for my mom, I bought a house for my dad, I bought a house for my sister.
Hollywood views regular people as children, and they think they're the smart ones who need to tell the idiots out there how to be.
No show would be successful if you took a group of people and just said, 'You're dumb!' over and over. That's not what Broadway's about.
All the religions are super funny to me.
Bargaining makes you come up with the best ideas.
We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us.
I find Mormons adorable.
When someone goes, 'Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,' there's not a piece of my body that goes, 'Sweet!' That means I did it wrong. I'm just trying to make people laugh.
When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, 'The Dentist.' I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patient. It was sort of what can go wrong at the dentist, and I just remember I had lots of fake blood and everything.
I've gotten to a point where I wouldn't direct someone else's material. It would only be something totally original.
We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.'
Me and Matt love to argue, but in general our sense of humor is pretty much alike.
It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic we want.
How many times have you been watching an episode of 'South Park' and thought, 'I'd like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?'
What we're always looking for is weird social issues and weird connections to make. Luckily for them, there's no shortage of material.
I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.
I hate puppets so much.
People have a lot of different beliefs, and at the end of the day, we all have deeply held beliefs that probably don't make sense to anyone else.
You don't need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado.
So we're considering doing a new Christmas album, because there's been Christmas episodes since then, and maybe finally do the version of 'The Most Offensive Song Ever' with lyrics intact.
I was a big 'Charlie Brown' fan as a kid.
We have it, we're lucky enough that we've created a show where it's not about... a family, or a kid, it's about a town.
In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever.
It's this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters at the same time, it's great.
The only way to be punk rock in L.A. is to be a Republican.
Even from the very beginning, I didn't put any money in the stock market.
Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it.
If we have a great idea, we'll go, 'Oh, this could be a cool movie.' Or really for us, it's more like, 'Oh, this is a really bad idea. Let's do this. This seems really stupid.'
No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.'
If somebody actually came to me and said, 'O.K., this is it: write your last 'South Park' episodes,' I'd be like, 'No, no, no.'
We made this really dumb decision to put on the cover nothing from South Park but just a real life photo of a piece of pooh dressed up like Mr. Hankey, and a lot of people didn't, they didn't even know what it was.
You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody.
My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut.
It was exactly the same on the South Park movie really too. There's lots of violence in that too, but it always came down to anything sexual... They don't care about anything else.
