A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well.
Love is a promise delivered already broken.
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.
I think I meant that, given the circumstances of my childhood, I had the illusion that it's easier to be alone. To have your relationships be casual and also to pose as a solitary person, because it was more romantic. You know, I was raised on the idea of the ramblin' man and the loner.
What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness.
I just believe that the interesting time in a career is pre-success, what shaped things, how did you get to this point.
I got a flue shot and now my chimney works perfectly.
I don't like to look back, and I'm always worried about the next thing rather than resting on the laurels or the degradations of the last thing.
'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director - who were just fun.
I never thought about success. I always thought about doing the job at hand. My goal was getting through the show that night.
An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.
With comedy, you have no place to go but more comedy, so you're never off the hook.
Everything is fraught with danger. I love technology and I love science. It's just always all in the way you use it. So there's no - you can't really blame anything on the technology. It's just the way people use it, and it always has been.
I was raised with 'Laurel and Hardy' and 'I Love Lucy' and Jerry Lewis, and I just loved it. And I had a friend in high school and we would just laugh all day and put on skits. You know, it's the Andy Kaufman thing or the Marty Short thing where you're performing in your bedroom for yourself.
I'm tired of wasting letters when punctuation will do, period.
You want to be a bit compulsive in your art or craft or whatever you do. You want to be focused on it.
You want to be a bit compulsive in your art or craft or whatever you do.
I like all kinds of music. I listen to Abigail Washburn, the Punch Brothers, and Marc Johnson, the great clawhammer player. I also listen a lot to Sirius Radio, there's a lot of bluegrass there.
I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
I was always a huge fan of E. E. Cummings. He did a series of lectures at Harvard or Princeton, and they were recorded. And they were incredibly moving.
What I mean is that none of my talents had a - what's that great word - rubric. A singer, an actor, a dancer - there was nothing I could really say I was. The writing came much later. And, actually, thank God, because if I had said I'm a singer, I would really have just had one thing to do.
What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be Democrats... or skinny.
It's a mystery to me the way that contemporary art galleries function.
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.
Throughout my whole life, as a performer, I've never played with a band. I've always played alone, so I was never required to stay in rhythm or anything. So it was a real different experience for me to start playing with a band. There were so many basic things for me to learn.
I love comedy. That's what got me into the arts. I don't even know how to categorize myself anymore.
I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.
There's a lot of thought in art. People get to talk about important things. There's a lot of sex, you know, in art. There's a lot of naked women and men, and there's intrigue, there's fakery. It's a real microcosm of the larger world.
Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually.
I love technology, and I love science. It's just always all in the way you use it. So there's no - you can't really blame anything on the technology. It's just the way people use it, and it always has been.
L.A. is only where you live, because otherwise it's just a sprawling mass of everything, and I think if you live in L.A., you get a little network of places you go, and people you see, and when you leave town, you do miss those places and your friends.
I like the idea that one thing leads to another. You can tweet something completely innocuous, and then find yourself going off on a tangent that's inspired by a response.
I'm enamored with the art world.
I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.
Well, today the Grammys is much much better than the Oscars. I think the differences in the shows are that the Grammys are much wilder. The Oscars is much more people in the industry. And people dress wilder, I think, at the Grammys.
The banjo is truly an American instrument, and it captures something about our past.
I thought if I had a Twitter feed and say I had a following of a 100,000, that means 100,000 of them would be interested in my book. It was logical, but it didn't turn out to be true. It turned out if I had a Twitter feed of a 100,000, four of them were interested in my book.
Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
