Failure is a great teacher, and I think when you make mistakes and you recover from them and you treat them as valuable learning experiences, then you've got something to share.
Steve Harvey
A person has to remember that the road to success is always under construction. You have to get that through your head. That it is not easy becoming successful.
All men can and will change. But there's only one woman we're going to change for.
I'm just a living witness that you can be an imperfect soldier and still be in the army fighting for God Almighty. Don't you think you got to be perfect 'cause I ain't.
I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do.
If a man loves you... he's willing to profess it. He'll give you a title after a while. You're going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancee, his wife, his baby's mama, something.
One of the biggest misconceptions that a woman has is that a man has to accept her the way she is. No, we don't. I don't know who told you that. We like the bright and shiny. If you stop wearing the makeup, stop putting on nail polish, stop wearing high heels, you'll lose us.
You can't go forward and backwards at the same time.
God lets you be successful because he trusts you that you will do the right thing with it. Now, does he get disappointed often? All the time, because people get there and they forget how they got it.
Women are the real reason we get up every day. I'm talking about real men. If there were no women, I would not even have to bathe, because why would I care? These are guys I'm hanging with. I wake up for a woman every day of my life to make it happen for her.
My mother was a Sunday school teacher. So I am a byproduct of prayer. My mom just kept on praying for her son.
A guy that's really serious about you, he's gotta be talking to you, he's gotta want to have one-on-one, in-your-face interaction. That's how we are.
The first time I saw my wife, Marjorie, I was doing stand-up in Memphis, and she was sitting in the front row. Afterward, I walked up and said, 'Ma'am, I'm going to marry you one day.' And 15 years later, I did.
How can smart women be so stupid about men sometimes? Lack of knowledge. It's what men have kept secret for so long.
The problem is, women have stopped setting the bar high.
I just believe if you don't believe in God, then where is your moral barometer? That's just me talking. You can believe what you want to believe.
You can take lessons to become almost anything: flying lessons, piano lessons, skydiving lessons, acting lessons, race car driving lessons, singing lessons. But there's no class for comedy. You have to be born with it. God has to give you this gift.
You have nothing if you're texting a guy in a relationship. We can text six women a minute. We can text it and push 'reply all.' I mean, since we're lying, we might as well lie to everybody.
You can be happy, or you can be right. If you want to be part of a couple and win every argument, you're in trouble.
I don't think it's cool for people to say, 'You shouldn't reference God because I don't believe that, and I don't want to hear it.' Well, there's a lot of stuff I don't believe that I still gotta hear.
God has positioned me just this way to be just like I am, to say what I say how I say it.
I think there are so many books out there written on relationships and romance that women are the authors of. How can women know exactly how men think? And there are so many guys out there with relationship books who are just not telling the truth. They have shaded parts.
Hip-hop is a beautiful thing. I think that the music genre itself has created more millionaires than any other music genre before it, especially in our community.
I'm not really a relationship expert but... I'm an expert on manhood and what men think.
I had, like, 11 jobs. I've been fired 11 times! 'Cause I'm not cut for that. You know, I was a great employee, man. Everybody loved me coming to work - I'm singing, tellin' jokes on the assembly line. I was miserable, man. I was dying. I was dying.
I don't have 'The Jerry Springer Show'. I just got 'Family Feud', but some of them families, when they lose, man, they have some real conversations with each other back behind that wall, but I've never been involved in any of them.
My calling is to help people, to teach people, to share with people, until I die. I can never stop doing that. I can't, and I don't want to.
I sit my three sons down and say, 'Listen to me. When the police stop you, immediately comply. Don't walk away, don't smart-mouth; get your hands up and get down on the ground.' If you're not black, you might not have to have that conversation, but I go over and over it with them because I don't want that phone call.
I think that we, as the African-American men in hip-hop, we have a greater responsibly because we have the ears of so many millions of our young people. And they listenin'.
I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.
I don't want people to see me fall. I mean, I got enough people cheering for me to fall now... The Internet has created some amazing place for evil to exist, you dig?
You've got to quit lowering your standards. Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business.
I'm not a relationship expert. I'm an expert on manhood.
I'm not a doctor. I just have a tremendous amount of common sense.
You've got to be vulnerable when you're talking to kids. There's nothing worse than some adult standing up there just talking down to some kid. You can't work that way.
If you cook something on the show, and I don't like it, I'm going to tell you. I don't understand how you could watch any of these morning shows, and everything everybody cooks is absolutely delicious. Are you kidding me, man?
Other than my foundation - mentoring programs - everything I do is for money.
My color's not a crutch. See, funny crosses a lot of color barriers.
I ain't no author, man... my writing skills are not of 'New York Times' best-seller quality, trust and believe it ain't. My vocabulary ain't.
God has given me a life far beyond anything I ever dreamed about. God is, man, God is something else man.
I never saw myself not being a stand-up. That was my plan.
I tell jokes for a check; I'm on TV for a check.
We all think that this relationship thing is a game out here. All I'm saying to women is, 'Okay. If it's a game, here are the rules that we play by.'
The best timed joke or the best timed phrase comes at spontaneous moments and just relies on me as the host to be very quick, and that's what I do.
Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.
I take my brand very seriously.
I don't rehearse on either of my shows, 'Family Feud' or my talk show. I never rehearse with the guests. I don't want to have any preconceived thoughts, notions, because that kills my creativity as a host and as a stand up.
I got married for the wrong reasons. I was tired of being alone. I have to own that. It was me, not her.
I never in my life saw myself as a game show host. I don't want to be a traffic cop.
There's a lot more to me than just funny.
