I've seen few things more depressing than the end-of-season Giants-Padres series in 2001 in which Barry Bonds hit his 68th homer of the year while a .227-hitting, rapidly fossilizing Rickey Henderson staggered like a delirious marathoner toward 3,000 hits.

Stephen Rodrick

Think about it: You're trying to raise cash to save an endangered animal. You've got orphaned pandas getting 3 trillion YouTube hits, and you've got seals being clubbed over the head by roughnecks. The money flows in. But what about the poor shark?

Stephen Rodrick

Matt Leinart's L.A. duplex looks more like a Chuck E. Cheese safe house than a millionaire jock's crash pad. There's the requisite leather couch and flat-screen television, but the rest of the ground floor is bare except for a pile of Nick Jr. DVDs, a high chair, and a SpongeBob SquarePants director's chair.

Stephen Rodrick

The Smithsonian should box and preserve Tim McGraw's Nashville den for a future exhibit entitled 'Early 21st Century American Man Cave.'

Stephen Rodrick

Ever since Mike Tyson was champ, twenty-something dudes have microwaved nachos, popped opened Natty Lights, watched sharks do unspeakable things on TV, and whispered a billion 'Whoa, dudes.'

Stephen Rodrick

Brett Favre likes to tell stories.

Stephen Rodrick

Legends like Jim Murray at the 'Los Angeles Times' and Shirley Povich at the 'Washington Post' were the most beloved guys at their papers. They'd write a cherished column for 30 years, and that was it. There was nothing else to do, no higher job to attain.

Stephen Rodrick

Rick Rubin eats no cheese.

Stephen Rodrick

One of the hallmarks that a British actor brings to his public persona is an adept sense of self-deprecation - see Daniel Craig and Damian Lewis.

Stephen Rodrick

There's no doubt Matt Leinart loves his son very much.

Stephen Rodrick

There are many reasons why I hate college football. The 4-hour games drone on longer than Steve Lyons during the American League playoffs. The ever-expanding season threatens to creep into early July. Boise, Idaho, hosts a bowl game. And it's played on blue artificial turf.

Stephen Rodrick

When superstars go down, no matter how sympathetic the circumstances, fans know the franchise could be sunk.

Stephen Rodrick

I arrive a month premature, with my dad's brains but not much else.

Stephen Rodrick

Some historians trace the start of the War on Terror to November 4, 1979, the day the hostages were taken in Tehran.

Stephen Rodrick

Stephen A. Smith is the hardest-working man in sports show business. The ubiquitous basketball pundit appears on ESPN about 10 times a day as a regular on the show 'NBA Fastbreak,' a guest commentator on 'Sports Center,' and a pundit on 'ESPNEWS.'

Stephen Rodrick

There are 316 million people in the United States of America. About six million of them watch 'Homeland,' Showtime's thriller about world terror, paranoia, and bipolar disorder. That's about 2 percent of the population; roughly what the guy with the beard running on the Libertarian Party ticket gets when he runs for Congress.

Stephen Rodrick

Peter Rodrick was one of only around 4,000 men in the world qualified to land jets on a carrier after dark.

Stephen Rodrick

NFL fans have less sympathy for fallen players than the Romans had for blind Christians.

Stephen Rodrick

Jeff Bridges wants you to take it easy, man.

Stephen Rodrick

Publicists cater to bloggers because they can play them; bloggers cater to publicists because they want their ads.

Stephen Rodrick

Occasionally, a young catcher is born with a backup's soul. Bob Montgomery was on the Red Sox opening day roster for the entire 1970s, yet he never had more than 254 at-bats in a season.

Stephen Rodrick