Good barbecue has to fall off the bone when you grab it, and, to me, it's not pull-hard chewy.
Sinbad
I'm under stress. They killed me on wikipedia. They killed me. And I didn't stay dead long enough to sell no DVDs. I didn't even stay dead long enough - I was too stupid. I should've stayed low. I should've laid low. I could've been gone for a year; I'd have made money. And then I'd have risen from the dead.
Take my gay-hairdresser routine. You'll let your hairdresser say things to you that you wouldn't let your parents say. My hairdresser will say the funniest things, so I asked him if I could put him in my routine - you know, make fun of him in a good way. He said, 'Oh, mention my name, mention my name!'
I would be an activist but never a politician. As an activist, nobody owns you.
I don't believe in diets. I don't believe any diet ever works.
I was in the Air Force and was a boom operator (in-flight refueling). I got my comedy start in the Air Force.
I was always a funny person. I thought I would play some good ball, and the Harlem Globetrotters would see me, and that would be it - fame.
My thing is this: You've got to talk about politics because it's out there. But I try to respect the fact that even if you don't have my views, I still respect your view. I may dog your view, but I'll respect that you have that view. And it's OK to come back at me to defend your view.
Everyone wants me to do the comedy thing. But I always wanted to do action adventure. I want to be a guy like 007 who fights against the establishment. If they can make Bruce Willis believable as an action hero, I could do it, too.
I spent money, and I kept thinking, 'I get one more movie and I'll wipe these bills out,' but that movie never came. That black pride, I said, 'Man, I'm going to hang in there, I'm going to pay these bills.' So you owe a million dollars. 'I can pay that.' OK, fines, fees, now you owe two and a half million. 'But I didn't do nothin'!'
Who the heck is Donald Trump to fire me? I regret I didn't tell Donald Trump, 'You need to fire your barber. I'm sorry. I ain't feeling you, man. You're fired! I fire you, Donald Trump.'
I'd say a lot of black comics were forced to do the black comedy circuit. I'd go into black comedy clubs and see what they're going through, which is different because they're almost made to be in another world.
My job is to entertain you, leave feeling better than when you got there, and try to give you more than you thought you were gonna get.
Being on a horse is one of my most natural places to be.
Here's the thing about Apple, we complain and they give us more battery life. We complain and they'll give us more stuff. Everything's beta right now. Everything's experimental. They really don't know what people want.
If you're not happy before you're successful, you're going to be miserable when you do become successful because all your problems just get magnified.
I respect anyone who could take a stagecoach ride from the East Coast to the West. You had to be a very special kind of person to survive that because it's the most uncomfortable ride in the world.
Being in a smaller environment - sometimes I like that. As a comic, we start off in comedy clubs, and there are people right at your feet, right on top of you. And I realize, as I get older, I miss that sometimes.
There is two different Donald Trumps. There is the Donald Trump of the '90s... Now you've got this other one. The post-dementia Donald Trump who just loves picking fights because, I think, he's a lonely man.
I couldn't get roles as bad guys. They could see John Travolta as a gangster but not me, really. But, you know, that's just how things are.
Some people think it's a reality that black fathers don't take care of their children, but that's not true.
I never should have done 'Celebrity Apprentice.' I didn't want to do it because I didn't want Donald Trump to say, 'You're fired.'
What holds you back in comedy is fear.
Don't let people treat you like you're stupid. If it sounds too good to be true, it is.
Most entertainers start at a young age saying, 'I don't want to be normal. I don't want a regular job.'... I think that's something that's innate.
I judged entertainers who worked county fairs at age 55 because they had to. Now I get it.
Most of us have this story of not feeling comfortable because of how you were. Now they call it ADHD. I just knew I bounced all over the place. I'm glad I had ADHD... It's what makes us creative.
People think comedians don't do drama. Comics are drama. And what is drama, as opposed to comedy? It's all the same to me.
We ask for way too much stuff - way too much stuff. You got a job making $100 a year and bought a house for $3 million. Talking about, 'I don't know what happened with the payment.'
If you got a name like Barack Obama, you're supposed to fight.
We all want something else other than what we have and don't realize what you got works. It works. It does work. You gotta work. Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure.
I didn't buy Bentleys. I didn't live large. I invested in me. I invested in a lot of other people.
There's no one defining moment that kills you or makes you.
I've been on the road since 1983. Nothing ever changed, even when I was doing TV and movies.
Hollywood's not a progressive place. Everyone likes to think that Hollywood is hip, but it's not hip at all.
You don't meet many comics who came from rich families or were captain of the football team and had a nice car.
You can be too pretty for comedy - man or woman.
I'm so tired of reading all the negativity about black fathers running away and no black men as role models in society. I had a great father. Most of the guys I knew had great fathers.
I'm just a '70s freak.
I grew up on variety shows. I'm from the '60s and '70s. I loved watching Flip Wilson. I loved watching Sid Caesar's 'Your Show of Shows,' 'The Ed Sullivan Show.' I love all of those variety shows.
I just want to make people laugh.
I'm a tech-head. I've been a tech-head since '84, man.
