When I was about ten years old, I gave my teacher an April Fool's sandwich, which had a dead goldfish in it.
Alan Alda
The average human attention span was 12 seconds in 2000 and 8 seconds in 2013. A drop of 33%. The scary part is that the attention span of a goldfish was 9 seconds, almost 13% more than us humans. That's why it's getting tougher by the day to get people to turn the page. Maybe we writers ought to try writing for goldfish!
Ashwin Sanghi
One of the downsides of being famous is that folks pay far more attention to you than they should. American celebrities are constantly under surveillance, and every word they say is subject to scrutiny. So, be careful what you wish for if you desire fame. No human being should be a goldfish.
Bill O'Reilly
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.
Chevy Chase
I have a pet lizard named Puff, five goldfish - named Pinky, Brain, Jowels, Pearl and Sandy, an oscar fish named Chef, two pacus, an albino African frog named Whitey, a bonsai tree, four Venus flytraps, a fruit fly farm and sea monkeys.
Chris Pratt
In my early career I was like a goldfish. Rejection didn't affect me; I'd just forget how bad it was and keep going back for more.
Emily Watson
When I was a teenager, I wanted to be a portrait painter. As I got to be older, I realized that as a portrait painter I wouldn't be able to support a goldfish.
Fred Gwynne
I have pets, but they're the really ordinary sort - yellow Labrador, tabby cat, white rabbit, a few goldfish - that kind of stuff. Nothing very... extravagant or unusual or exotic, but I find, in terms of inspiration, Mother Nature is just it.
Graeme Base
Very few of us have any idea whatsoever of what life is like living in a goldfish bowl, except, of course, for those of us who are goldfish.
Graham Taylor
I wouldn't mind turning into a vermilion goldfish.
Henri Matisse
We think of computers as smart and powerful machines. But your goldfish is smarter.
Jason Fried
Unlike a goldfish, a computer can't really do anything without you telling it exactly what you want it to do.
My friend once sculpted me a bust of Admiral Ackbar from 'Star Wars.' He's my favourite character in the films after Han Solo. He's that goldfish-type alien in the white costume. 'It's a trap!' I'm a big geek.
Katie McGrath
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
Kin Hubbard
We all live in a televised goldfish bowl.
Kingman Brewster, Jr.
I'm like a goldfish. My memory is terrible.
Lee Mack
I've got a new invention. It's a revolving bowl for tired goldfish.
Lefty Gomez
In a world where the body politic has the attention span at times of a goldfish, yep, you've got to have the ability to reinvent yourself in this game many times.
Matt Gaetz
As a person with the retentive mental capacity of a goldfish and a dislike of repetition, I frequently make use of the thesaurus built into my Microsoft Word U.K. Software.
Meg Rosoff
It's amazing how a simple brief phone call can pick up the spirits of the most dejected hamster, the most stressed goldfish and the most neurotic cat.
Noel Edmonds
Performers are the neediest people in the world. Unless you've been in that goldfish bowl - nobody can judge unless they've worn those shoes.
I couldn't be a royal. It's like living in a supersonic goldfish bowl.
I think there's something great and generic about goldfish. They're everybody's first pet.
In the next shot the cameras zoomed to the fiancee who noticed the lights in the Czarina's room go out and the camera then turned to the pond where two goldfish were making love.
I sometimes still feel I am living in a goldfish bowl, but I now manage it better. I still have a naughty streak, too, which I enjoy and is how I relate to those individuals who have got themselves into trouble.
I have as much privacy as a goldfish in a bowl.
I can't moan about any of it. I had a great time in the goldfish bowl.
I once went with my grandson to a county fair where you shoot a water pistol at the clown's mouth. We came home with twelve stuffed animals and a goldfish.
Everyone has a goldfish when they're little.
A few years ago, the city council of Monza, Italy, barred pet owners from keeping goldfish in curved bowls... saying that it is cruel to keep a fish in a bowl with curved sides because, gazing out, the fish would have a distorted view of reality. But how do we know we have the true, undistorted picture of reality?
She's born and raised with wildlife, living with a zoo. What would be strange for Bindi is if she were in an apartment in suburbia with a goldfish.
A loach can't emulate a goldfish. Because of my looks, the public support rating for us won't rise.
