I have a two-year-old at home, and my whole life is - besides revolved around keeping this little person alive, just watching them on the stairs and eating food and everything of every minute of every day - you plan what time you're going to bed so that you can be your best self first thing in the morning.

Rosemarie DeWitt

Having a two-year-old is very hard. I feel like I'm in a relationship with an emotionally unstable woman who is also physically abusive and never gets in trouble for it.

Ali Wong

If you've ever hauled a 28-pound two-year-old around New York, you'll find that men fold at the knees a lot quicker than women.

Anthony Bourdain

I'm a grandfather now, and when I watch children's shows with my two-year-old grandson, Arlo, I'm delighted because it's completely non-traditional casting. It feels like a utopia. How the world should be.

Art Malik

The female attention I have to struggle hardest with is from my two-year-old daughter.

Dan Stevens

As long as you think of your real self as the person you are, then of course you're going to be fearful of death. But what is a person? A person is a pattern of behavior, of a larger awareness. You know, the two-year-old dies before the three-year-old shows up, the three-year-old dies before the teenager shows up.

Deepak Chopra

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

Denis Leary

My heart goes out to the grieving parents who lost their two-year-old or their newborn.

Elizabeth Edwards

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.

Erma Bombeck

I write like a two-year-old, and I can't spell.

Harry Redknapp

Sometimes, you'll watch the news and you'll see two-year-old boys in South Africa, wearing 'Spider-Man' t-shirts. It's such a global phenomenon.

James Vanderbilt

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Jerry Seinfeld

I'm like a twenty-two-year-old kid in a new band trying to get noticed and break through, because the vast majority of people have never seen me play live.

John Fogerty

Having a two-year-old son is challenging, and my missus is only 21, so we're both young, and it is difficult.

Kyle Walker

Going from a two-year-old Polish boy, who practically came to Germany with nothing more than a football under his arm, to a world champion - it's more than I could have ever imagined.

Lukas Podolski

A lot of people say, 'Wow, you're a single father of twin boys, that's crazy!' Two toddlers can get hectic, but I wouldn't change it for anything. Every day they teach me different things. The love is there. When you have a two-year-old saying every other hour, 'Papi, te amo. Papi, I love you,' it can't get better.

Ricky Martin

I have a two-year-old at home, and my whole life is - besides revolved around keeping this little person alive, just watching them on the stairs and eating food and everything of every minute of every day - you plan what time you're going to bed so that you can be your best self first thing in the morning.

Rosemarie DeWitt

Conservatives still attack feminism with the absurd notion that it makes its adherents less attractive to men; in truth, it is feminism that has made forty-two-year-old women so desirable.

Tom Junod

Let's face it: There used to be something tragic about even the most beautiful forty-two-year-old woman. With half her life still ahead of her, she was deemed to be at the end of something--namely, everything society valued in her, other than her success as a mother.

Tom Junod