People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.
Ricky Gervais
The grass isn't always greener on the other side!
I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.
Where there's a will - there's a relative!
Science is constantly proved all the time. If we take something like any fiction, any holy book, and destroyed it, in a thousand years' time, that wouldn't come back just as it was. Whereas if we took every science book and every fact and destroyed them all, in a thousand years they'd all be back because all the same tests would be the same result.
I think you can make fun of anything except things people can't help. They can't help their race or their sex or their age, so you ridicule their pretension or their ego instead. You can ridicule ideas - ideas don't have feelings. You can ridicule an idea that someone holds without hurting them.
You can laugh at anything. It depends on the joke.
Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you've got to want it.
Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming!
Why buy a book when you can join a library.
I think being nice is more important than being clever.
I think it's important to hold a mirror up to society and yourself.
With Netflix, I browse; I watch documentaries about things I'd never dream of, but I think, 'I might as well.'
When I was about to be famous, I feared it on a few levels. I feared it because I didn't want people to lump me in with those people who'd do anything to be famous. I didn't like the word 'celebrity.' I feared intrusion, you know? Make me famous, and suddenly you can go through my trash bins.
There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything.
I could always take a joke. I could always be the butt of the joke. I could always hand it out. That was just who I was.
Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I'll shut up and go away.
When I see a headline 'Guess who's going out with who?' I don't guess, and I don't click.
I don't do karaoke. I don't dance, even at weddings. I'm the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine.
I think our elderly are forgotten sometimes.
If I've only got a career if I bring David Brent back, you can have it.
Everything I do is somehow rooted in humanity. It's always about people; it's always about ego. It's always about desperation. It's quite existential. You know, 'Am I leading a good life?' That might be because I'm an atheist, and I think this is all we've got, so you better be nice. And have fun.
You should make something. You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, 'I did that.'
That's the buzz for me, the creative process. An idea is never as good as when it's in your head. And then it's just how little you ruin it.
Stupidity without malice isn't horrible; some people can't help it.
You can be watching the greatest film in the world, and if you hear your neighbor getting into a fight, you're at the window.
Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.
I haven't had my teeth fixed, I haven't had a hair transplant. I haven't had a skin peel, tummy tuck. I've done literally nothing.
With the Internet era and social media and politics being so out there with the lies, now you've got people denying things they're on camera doing, and then you've got people not really caring about the truth. You've got people supporting people who've done horrific things, but just don't want the other side to get any satisfaction.
As an artist, you want as many people as possible to see your work with no interference. And usually, I've gone onto fringe channels: BBC Two, HBO, Channel 4.
When I go to work, I don't want to make depressing, gritty, urban stories that are depressing to watch. I want to give people something to enjoy. When people think I'm a control freak and an ogre - which I am - it's only because I want my work to be accessible and Everyman, in a way.
Proper stupidity is fascinating.
I think Dustin Hoffman has been in at least three of my favorite movies of all time with things like 'Tootsie,' 'Marathon Man.' Getting a bit more arthouse and darker, 'The Graduate' - incredible, barrier-breaking movie, 'The Graduate.'
I don't believe in ghosts or ESP or elves... or God. But I am spiritual in the sense that I get a lump in my throat when I listen to Vaughan Williams.
I like the ironic pomposity of a stand-up comedian. Like all those comedians thinking they can bring down Coca-Cola. They forget to be funny.
I see my real job now as - never mind 'The Office,' 'Extras,' film career, Emmys - I want everyone in the world to know who Karl Pilkington is.
I didn't know I was poor, growing up, because everyone was in the same boat. I couldn't have bikes. It never really bothered me, but I could have any book. I loved school; I loved learning. Yeah, I never cared for possessions. I still don't, really.
I've got re-addicted to normal people, which is the loveliest thing to write about.
I'm an optimist.
The great thing about being an artist is, we want our work to be seen.
Free speech is one of the most important things to me, but I think it gets confusing when it comes to offense. Because for one, just because you have the right to say anything, it doesn't mean you have to.
People now live their lives like an open wound to be famous - they do bad things because they're rewarded for it.
I always do a little bit of improv. I did some of 'The Office,' a tiny bit in 'Extras,' a bit more in 'Derek.'
I find comedy easy, and I find drama exciting and tantalising.
When I was growing up, I didn't like cheese. I had to wean myself onto cheese.
Your reputation is still the most important thing that you've got.
I don't like it when I see a racist comedian go up and say, 'What are we gonna do about all these immigrants?' and they get a round the applause. I think, 'Well that's not a joke. That's just your biased opinion.'
Karl Pilkington has the roundest head, I think, in the world. It's not technically a deformity, but I've never seen anything quite that spherical.
I think Spielberg is a master. I think 'Jaws' invented a genre.
There's nothing wrong with being respected by your peers. There's nothing wrong with trying to do your best. There's nothing wrong with success. There's not even anything wrong with trying to get a raise. There's nothing wrong with that.
