My dream is that one day, all people will live without fear, in real peace, with no fighting and no hostility.
Phan Thi Kim Phuc
For years I bore the crippling weight of anger, bitterness and resentment toward those who caused my suffering. Yet as I look back over a spiritual journey that has spanned more than three decades, I realize the same bombs that caused so much pain and suffering also brought me to a place of great healing. Those bombs led me to Jesus Christ.
When I meet children and people who suffer, when they mention any kind of pain, emotional pain, physical pain, I know what they need, because it's the same thing I need. They need healing, they need peace, they need joy, they need hope.
Having known war I know the value of peace. Having lived under government control I know the value of freedom. Having lived with hatred, terror and corruption I know the value of faith and forgiveness.
Behind that picture of me, thousands and thousands of people, they suffered - more than me. They died. They lost parts of their bodies. Their whole lives were destroyed, and nobody took that picture.
If I ever see those pilots who dropped the bombs on me - or any American pilots - I would say to them, 'The war is over. The past is past.' I would ask those pilots what can they do to bring us all together.
Sometimes I could not breathe, but God saved my life and gave me faith and hope.
In 1974, I cried all day long. I kept putting my well arm next to my left one, which could not move. My mother kept saying, 'Don't be sad. If you cry, I will cry and then we will all be twice as sad.'
I remember June 8, 1972. I saw the airplane. And it's so loud, so close to me. Suddenly, the fire everywhere around me. The fire burned off my clothes. And I saw my arm got burned with the fire. I thought, oh, my goodness, I get burned. People will see me different way.
I really want to say, 'Thank God I'm alive.' I want to forgive the people who caused my suffering. I did.
I was as alone as a person can be. I could not turn to a friend, for nobody wished to befriend me. I was toxic, and everyone knew it. To be near me was to be near hardship. Wise people stayed far away. I was alone, atop a mountain of rage. Why was I made to wear these awful scars?
People ask me a lot, 'How can you smile all the time?' I tell them, 'I was never angry. God created me this way. He created me laughing and smiling.'
Those bombs have brought me immeasurable pain. Even now, some 40 years later, I am still receiving treatment for burns that cover my arms, back, and neck. The emotional and spiritual pain was even harder to endure.
I have suffered a lot from both physical and emotional pain.
When those four bombs fell, I was in the middle and I should have died.
My character is not sad, not angry. In my house, I'm always laughing, smiling, smiling.
I saw the bombs, and, like a kid, I looked back at them. Instantly there was fire everywhere.
Every movement of mine was under the control of the Vietnamese government, a communist country. I was just a prisoner without walls.
My name is Kim Phuc, though you likely know me by another name. It is one I never asked for, a name I have spent a lifetime trying to escape: 'Napalm Girl.'
Yet I was ready for love and joy. I wanted to let go of my pain. I wanted to pursue life instead of holding fast to fantasies of death.
I know what it is like to experience terror, to feel despondent, to live in fear. I know how wearying and hopeless life can be sometimes.
Even if I could talk face to face with the pilot who dropped the bombs I would tell him, 'We cannot change history, but we should try to do good things for the present and for the future to promote peace.'
Nine years old, I became the victim of war. I didn't like that picture at all. I felt like, why he took my picture, when I was agony, naked, so ugly? I wished that picture wasn't taken.
I went through 17 operations. I had to deal with the pain every single day. I used to compare my scars with buffalo skin. And because my skin wasn't have any pores, I cannot sweat, make me feel so tired, so headache.
I forgive everyone who caused my suffering, even the pilot, commander, people controlling me.
You will remember me as a little child in another time, during another war, and involving another airplane.
Dear friends: faith and forgiveness is much more powerful than napalm could ever be.
I am praying every day for peace.
That little girl became me now. I have accepted it and I'm thankful that my picture worked for good.
The more I travel the more I see and know what people need. They need peace, they need joy and they need love.
I cannot sweat because there is no hair and no pores on the skin grafts. And, can you imagine, there is no blood at all in my scars?
I am not religious; I am not political.
Religion doesn't help me at all. But the relationship between me and God and Jesus, that changed my life.
I wanted to share my experience with people so that they feel better.
I built my life very normal with everything I do.
I was a happy child, just 9 years old, and I knew nothing about war.
The more I prayed for my enemies, the softer my heart became.
When I felt real forgiveness, my heart was set free.
Let the world see how horrible wars can be.
I want to have freedom myself, and build my family.
I really wanted to escape from that little girl. But it seems to me that the picture didn't let me go.
I got burned by napalm, and I became a victim of war.
I wished I died in that attack with my cousin, with my south Vietnamese soldiers. I wish I died at that time so I won't suffer like that anymore... it was so hard for me to carry all that burden with that hatred, with that anger and bitterness.
I have a husband and a new life and want to be normal like everyone else.
In war time, nowhere is safe.
I hated myself. I hated people who made war. I hated people who were normal. I envied them. I wish I would be normal.
I have two boys, so I don't want any more child to suffer like me.
I love my scars. It reminds me where I come from.
I did not think that I could marry or have any children because of my burns. But now I have a wonderful husband, a lovely child and a happy family, thank God.
We should work together to be of peace and happiness for all people in all nations.
