I feel proud I was part of the old school and still around in the new school.
Peter Crouch
I once bought an ill-advised half cashmere, half camel hair jumper for £800, then ruined it by spilling a pint of Guinness all over it.
One thing that annoys me in football is when people get carried away by results after four or five weeks of a new season.
Spending time in Sweden on loan was one of the best things I ever did.
Nothing can prepare you fully for how harsh football fans can be, but it makes you more robust, able to deal with a lot of what is thrown at you in life.
If I played badly as a kid, my dad would tell me, and my mum would say, 'You were brilliant today'. It's nice to have both: when I need a bit of confidence, I'll see her, and if I need to hear it straight, I'll see my dad.
The thing you don't realise is that every time you head the ball, your brain shakes. Every single time. Have you ever headed a ball badly and seen stars for a couple of seconds? That's your brain shaking. Let's be honest: that can't be healthy, can it?
During the Sir Alex Ferguson years, you would see all those great players - Roy Keane, Paul Scholes, David Beckham, Ryan Giggs, Jaap Stam, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Cristiano Ronaldo, to name just a few - and you'd quickly realise why Old Trafford had an aura like nowhere else.
In my early years, I wanted to be like Paul Gascoigne.
The kit man is the heartbeat of the football club, really. He knows the lads. He's usually local, a fan, and he's got his finger on the pulse of the dressing room.
I've always been the tallest; I didn't shoot up. That's who I am.
I can understand why people laugh and make jokes, but I'm comfortable with being this tall. It's not as if I've had a sudden growth spurt. I've always been like this, so I get used to the constant height references.
When I was young, I always enjoyed watching skilful players and trying to emulate them the same as everyone else.
I'll have an omelette, porridge, and fruit for breakfast at the training ground, then chicken, pasta and soup for lunch; then I can relax in the evening.
For whatever reason, I have got a few goals against Arsenal, so I do enjoy playing against them.
I did a paper round as a kid, but the early mornings were too much. My dad took it over, so I was getting paid 15 quid a week, but he was doing it!
I don't know why, but if I was walking down the street, the same people who called me freak would probably ask for a picture. It's a real strange thing.
In this age of social media, it is easy to punch out a phrase 'thoughts are with the family' when something bad occurs, and at times, it is insincere.
I got booed by my own fans when I came on in my first game for England. You go through things that are ridiculous. But you get to the stage you realise everyone's got an opinion.
Tiger Woods and Roger Federer: those two are born winners.
I had Fleetwood Mac on, and Saido Berahino asked me if it was from a movie soundtrack.
Right from school, I got mockery for the way I look. I took it to heart early on. I admit there were times when I doubted myself.
If you're good enough, you're old enough: that's what everyone says. When a talented young player emerges, his age doesn't matter; people want to see him in the team. So why, when you become older, is the assumption that you are no longer good enough?
Nothing ever stays the same for very long in my life.
I've always been surrounded by good people who rein me back in.
I've been at Stoke for eight years... I think I've had the same towel for almost eight years.
I know my strengths and weaknesses, and I play to them.
I enjoy being different.
I wouldn't want to get my pigeon chest out in front of anyone. I don't think the world needs it. I'd probably get a yellow card anyway.
Des Bulpin discovered me and, along with my dad, would be the biggest influence on my career. I remember him telling me when I was 15 that Jermain Defoe and I would play together for England when we were older, and he hasn't been too far wrong.
When I was a kid, the FA Cup was the one: it was bigger than the European Cup, even. So to win that, for me, and my dad as well - we used to watch it together - was brilliant.
I'd like to think I'm an approachable fella, and if someone wants me to pose for a picture, I'll always say 'yes' even when I'm with my family.
Mark Hughes played until he was nearly 40 at a decent level, and I think I can do the same.
Even when I was at the top, playing in the Champions League final for Liverpool and playing at the World Cup for England, I've never let it go to my head.
I was a million miles from being a Premier League player. You see some people, at 18 they are ready. At 21, I wasn't. Physically nowhere near.
The Championship is a ferocious league, physically demanding, and it simply does not allow players the luxury of cruising through.
Kevin Muscat scared me. You know, people would say 'I'm going to break your legs' - when he would say it, you genuinely believed him.
I used to pretend I was into speed garage when I hated it.
There is one thing you must know about Marko Arnautovic if you want to understand what makes him tick: he believes he's the best player in the world.
I've got a good record, but maybe, for whatever reason, it's not built up by people. I wouldn't say I'm hard done by. But it's true that I sometimes don't get the praise.
A little voice keeps telling me an Aston Martin really isn't me, but a louder voice is telling me that, as an England international playing for Liverpool, the old rules no longer apply.
Everyone that I have taken the mick out of, or told a story about, is someone I know properly or someone who has been a team-mate, and I know can take it. I am not stitching anyone up.
I'm lucky: whatever I eat, I've never wavered from just under 14 stone.
I'm 6ft 7in, so I have a massive bed.
So many kids want to be football players, and to still feel like I'm living the dream at 37 is amazing.
Ronaldo, the Brazilian one - incredible player. I met him once. I was in Ibiza on holiday and quite by chance ran into him in a club. He's the only man I'd go up to and ask for a picture. And I did.
I didn't think too much about people who didn't believe in me. It hasn't really affected me.
I was always quite technical as a player, but when you are the size I am, if you are crap in the air, it is going to look bad.
I am not the sort of character to get carried away.
I have really got into watching the unsigned bands. They play mad venues like the Sugarmill in Stoke and all sorts of underground, grimy places.
