Global warming is a fact. Now it's up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step.

P. J. O'Rourke

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

P. J. O'Rourke

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

P. J. O'Rourke

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

P. J. O'Rourke

Never fight an inanimate object.

P. J. O'Rourke

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

P. J. O'Rourke

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

P. J. O'Rourke

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

P. J. O'Rourke

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

P. J. O'Rourke

You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.

P. J. O'Rourke

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.

P. J. O'Rourke

We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren't there.

P. J. O'Rourke

A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not backed by gold or silver.

P. J. O'Rourke

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

P. J. O'Rourke

Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance.

P. J. O'Rourke

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.

P. J. O'Rourke

The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.

P. J. O'Rourke

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.

P. J. O'Rourke

If you think health care is expensive now, just wait 'til it's free.

P. J. O'Rourke

There is a simple rule here, a rule of legislation, a rule of business, a rule of life: beyond a certain point, complexity is fraud. You can apply that rule to left-wing social programs, but you can also apply that rule to credit derivatives, hedge funds, all the rest of it.

P. J. O'Rourke

Once you've built the big machinery of political power, remember you won't always be the one to run it.

P. J. O'Rourke