You can't satisfy everybody. If you do, you're probably doing something wrong.
Mick Foley
When Dee Snider and I get together for breakfast, it's just two Long Island guys hanging out.
Mother Nature and Father Time have not been happy with me.
A joke bombing on stage doesn't bother me, especially if it's intended to bomb.
President-elect Trump wasn't my choice, but I'm going to be like Dave Chappelle, and I'm going to give him a chance - but I think there are people out there with legitimate worries.
I tell people the most important move they can make is not in the ring. It's taking the time to get to know Mr. McMahon.
I don't advocate any child following in their parent's footsteps when their parent's footsteps are as crooked as mine are.
I think I had four concussions throughout my career that were diagnosed, and I guess that I've had seven more. But the fact that three of them came in a four month span when I was making a comeback in 2004 is a little bit scary.
When people see my show, they may not laugh out loud as they do with some of the classic comedians, but they do enjoy it. I regret that I called it comedy to begin with; I should have called it 'An Evening With' or put it down as spoken word. But the emphasis is always on funny stories.
The idea of standing five feet away from Norah Jones and listening to her sing Neil Young's 'Down By The River' was just phenomenal. I compare that to what my kids know of at a concert, which is sitting in a stadium and watching a huge screen.
As great a spectacle as WrestleMania is, there's something to be said for seeing a guy you like telling stories from the heart from 20 feet away.
As a halfway decent college DJ, I had been exposed to some great progressive stuff and always took pride in unearthing musical gems.
I'm glad I had a chance to see great music played up close and live. In a way, that's what I hope my show does. It's almost like an acoustic evening with Mick Foley.
It's funny: wrestlers and comics bond over remembering their best shows and their absolute worst shows.
There is nothing like the indignity of not fitting into a roller coaster.
I always had an appreciation for diverse musical styles.
I look back on my career and my time as commissioner with great fondness.
Everybody has the idea of Santa in their head and in their heart.
I think doing The Improv is a little more ominous than doing a college campus because it was so different than anything I'd done.
I haven't worn jewelry since one of the front teeth I had made into an earring became no longer necessary because I lost the ear.
Edge goes out every night, and not just on pay per views; every night, Edge goes out there with the intention of stealing the show. I know that he felt like his title run had not been given the respect from the company that it deserved, and he was really hell-bent on proving that he belonged as a main event guy.
You have to believe in yourself. But you know what? There's a fine line between believing in yourself and being delusional. And I'm sure there were a lot of people who thought I was being delusional when they saw me attempting to become a big shot in the world of pro wrestling. Luckily, it worked out: it doesn't work out for that many people.
In a sense, I think the WWE Universe has become one of the greatest characters of the modern era.
I would leave my wife for Whataburger.
I get asked a lot about the Rock N' Sock Connection.
My mother wanted me to be a writer, which I have ended up taking a long road round to.
On the 'SmackDown' side, A.J. Styles really has been phenomenal.
I loved Steve Martin when I was younger, in the '70s.
In 1999, I had my back against the wall, and WWE had a ghostwriter working on an autobiography for me. He was halfway through, and it was awful, just boring. I took over as a way of trying to fix things, as I thought I could probably do a better job.
I'm still a big wrestling fan. I buy the Pay-Per-Views. I think that gives me the right to speak out just like any other fan.
I lived in Alabama for a while during the dying days of the Continental Wrestling Federation. I lived in Montgomery and traveled all over Alabama.
I saw James Ellsworth at an independent wrestling show where I was signing autographs, so I took a photo with him and put up a post on Facebook called 'The night I met James Ellsworth.' Just by nature of how popular that post was, how many comments there were and likes and shares, I was like, 'people love this kid.'
Even though 'SmackDown' has been kind of like the Internet darling, I believe that if they had three hours instead of two, they would find out that it's tough to be a darling when you've got that massive three-hour anchor around your neck.
You want the match to be like a roller coaster, so you can't predict it.
I can look back now and say, 'Aw, that was a little dumb taking huge bumps onto concrete before a couple of hundred fans,' but if it wasn't for that attitude and that type of work ethic, I never would have gotten to WWE.
Sooner or later, The Rock's going to get tired of that empty space on his mantle where an Oscar should be, and that's when I'll get the phone call for the buddy movie that finally makes his career.
Everybody in wrestling is looking at the information coming in on concussions. Everyone from the NFL to the WWE to TNA to the youth soccer groups around the country are realizing that there are dangers that weren't previously known.
The first few songs of the album 'Little Earthquakes' were unlike anything I'd ever heard.
It might surprise people to know that the person who convinced me to write the third memoir - 'The Hardcore Diaries' - was actually Vince McMahon.
There are guys who thrive completely on the action in the ring and see the promotion as a necessary evil, whereas I think it's so much easier to tell people what a tough guy you are, as opposed to backing it up.
Back in 2004, Vince McMahon basically told me to consider WWE to be my playground, and that I could come and play any time I wanted to.
At heart, I was always a performer, not a competitor.
I find that I get most of the same things I loved about performing in the ring when I do my live shows around the world.
I get to define for myself what being a success is.
Triple H was one of the main proponents of women's wrestling.
My greatest personal Survivor Series moment was facing The Rock in 1998 and having Mr. McMahon turn on me. That set into motion one of the best series of matches I've ever had and some of the most important with The Rock. Not only did we have great matches, but then we became teamed up following the rivalry, so that was big.
I loved George Carlin... I used to sit in front of the TV and watch the HBO comedy specials. I loved those comedy specials.
I always welcome being part of something positive in WWE.
I see The Rock running in 2020 and being a two-term president. I think he would be great, and I'm joking when I say I think Stephanie McMahon wouldn't be a fine president of the United States. I think she's got the leadership qualities. I see those two as potential candidates, and I see Kane as a congressional leader.
I just feel like there's a better mind-to-pen connection for me than a mind-to-keyboard connection.
