I don't visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won't wait in the yard while I run in.

Margaret Smith

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

Margaret Smith

If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said 'No.'

Margaret Smith

The best contraceptive is the word no - repeated frequently.

Margaret Smith

I don't visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won't wait in the yard while I run in.

Margaret Smith

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

Margaret Smith

Sin recognized but that may keep us humble, But oh, it keeps us nasty.

Margaret Smith