In a world that wants women to whisper, I choose to yell.
Luvvie Ajayi
Being a 'good man' is something you do, not something you are.
Humor is this great equalizer. It gets people's defenses down, and once they're down, you can discuss some really difficult topics.
Never underestimate the power of confidence. If you believe you're the dopest thing walking, you might convince people of the same just because you're so headstrong about it as a fact.
Being able to live without having to be defined by your skin color is the hallmark of privilege.
People are prospering from being unapologetically offensive, trite, and stupid. And we are tweeting ourselves into high blood pressure and ulcers trying to tell them to do better... Being a pompous nut biscuit is now a publicity strategy, and I don't know what we can do to end the madness.
Fear has a very concrete power of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are our purpose.
Working 16-hour days to ensure that I can pay my bills has been a bulk of my entrepreneurship life. And on days when I don't, odds are I'm running to the airport.
I have no love for those who consider themselves 'good people' but stand idly by as the world crumbles around them. It's not enough to personally not do damage. If you're present as someone else destroys what's around you and you do nothing, you helped them.
Under promise and over deliver. People will be pleasantly surprised that you gave more than they expected. And remember that there is always room for us to be better and do better. That's what I am calling for. Not just everybody else - myself, too.
If we don't challenge each other to use our platforms for better than our niches or what our quote-unquote brand is, what are we doing as influencers? If we can't activate our audiences at the times it's important or needed, then what do we have these platforms for?
The most glaring aspect of white privilege is that when someone is described neutrally - without indicating color or ethnicity - more often than not, people will assume that the person is white. That assumption indicates an uncomfortable truth: in our society, whiteness determines humanity.
I need to sleep more. The 'sleep when I die' mantra is not cute.
I feel like my career is to speak truth to power, and a lot of times, that sounds like troublemaking. If speaking truth is troublemaking, then yes, I will consider myself a professional at that.
Who needs soap operas now when we have social media timelines? Now you can get a similar drama fix by just paying attention to your friends and family members' Facebook pages.
You can't just set the vision, take a nap, and not keep working on making your vision happen. Your intention has to be backed by work.
My integrity is something I hold dear.
I've reached the point where people text me randomly for favors, like, 'Hey can I pick your brain?' People I haven't talked to in years are asking for favors. It's like, 'Wow people really got some nerve.'
People need to seek out some diversity in their life. One of my friends is a pig farmer in Michigan, and even she has black friends. She's in the middle of nowhere - the closest airport is, like, three hours away - and she manages to connect with black people.
I want to create a TV show that people will watch and say, 'Hey, I have a favorite character,' or 'Hey, that person reminds me of myself,' or 'Hey, I've made some of those same mistakes, or those are some of the things I've dealt with.'
When people say things like, 'Oh, I can't find black or brown whatever position it is,' I wanted to be clear that we exist in droves. When I tell people, 'Hey, share your work, share your LinkedIn,' it's with the ultimate goal that somebody on that thread gets hired, or something positive happens.
As a freelancer, as a writer, and running my company, people have always tried to negotiate me down. Some might think that I might accept their offers because they think I don't have many options. The truth is, I always have options available to me.
Toddlers are couthless. Lord. They are so couth-deficient. They'll tell you, 'Those shoes look like my nightmares' without a second thought because your feelings don't matter to them.
There are two types of people in this world: people who can be on time and Nigerians. I am in the latter group, and I confess to my inability to arrive anywhere punctually.
Being quiet is comfortable. Keeping things the way they've been is comfortable. And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo.
People think you can find a mentor by walking up to somebody and saying, 'Hey, be my mentor,' or by sending an e-mail to someone you've never e-mailed before and saying, 'Hey, I want you to mentor me.' But, mentorship really happens in rooms that you're actually in.
Being conscious of Global Blackness is knowing that we are not an island of our struggle but a nation of our triumphs. That's blackness to me.
I think that if everybody committed themselves to making a better world than how we found it, things would be much better than what they are.
Fire Yourself. Outsource some of your life. Because you know what won't be cute on a tombstone? 'Her grind was impeccable, and she did it all by herself.'
'Imposter Syndrome' is the feeling of wearing a mask and playing a role that one does not feel at home in. It is when you feel like you or your work is a fluke and that you're a dwarf amongst giants. Many of us have this, especially when we're in some sort of creative industry.
When I set out to write 'I'm Judging You,' I wanted to create something that was both timely and timeless. But I didn't know how timely this book would be until we, the people of the United States, elected a walking Cheeto to the highest office in the land on November 8, 2016.
I want people to see my color and my culture written all over me, because I am proud of the skin I'm in. It is an important part of my identity. What I don't want them to do is mistreat me because of it.
I am a firm believe in the power of dreams, because the world is basically one giant realization of people's collective dreams come true. We need to dream to aspire to do something that keeps us striving. But those dreams and ideas and wants mean nothing without execution, which doesn't usually happen without a plan.
It took me a while to affirm the fact that I'm actually a really good writer. I couldn't even call myself a writer with a straight face because I didn't take my gift seriously.
The cool thing about the Internet now is it's democratized platforms. Like, anybody can create a blog. Anybody can give themselves some type of place where their work is visible.
A book is not a short-term project. It's essentially your baby, so it takes a lot of work.
Putting out a book is absolutely a lesson in vulnerability because it doesn't matter how much of an audience you have. Some people who have giant audiences can't sell books because those audiences don't feel like they need to give them their money.
People love my voice because they say I say what they were thinking but dare not to say because they had a filter or a job.
I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was like, 'I'm going to be a doctor!' Doctor Luvvie was the dream. I was Doc McStuffins before it was a thing.
Telling the truth - telling thoughtful truths - should not be a revolutionary act. Speaking truths to power should not be sacrificial, but they are.
Avoidance has never been a great tactic in solving any problem. For most situations in life, not addressing what's going on only makes matters worse.
Chicago's one of the most segregated cities in America. Everybody lives in their own silos and vacuums.
I could write a whole other book called 'I'm Judging You, America!' I still might.
People use the guise of art, and artistic expression, to do all kinds of hateful things. It's like Trump and everybody else using the guise of humor to say hateful things, the excuse being, 'I was just being funny.'
I knew I was Yoruba and Nigerian for the first 9 years of my life. I did not become conscious of my color and all that came with it until I moved to the United States with my family.
Through my school years, I learned more about slavery, anti-black racism, and oppression in the U.S., and my blackness could no longer be an afterthought. I started wearing it proudly, and as my consciousness deepened, so did my love for black folks.
I am of the bridge generation that remembers life before social media permeated everything but cannot imagine life without it now.
In my workshops for young adults, the most important thing I emphasize is that anything posted online, no matter how private they think it is, is permanent.
Shoes are my love language, and women love shoes.
You can be tweeting strangers and saying, 'Don't say that,' but are you saying that to your friends? How about your mom? Your boyfriend at the dinner table who says something homophobic? If you're not saying the same things in person that you're saying online, then what are your tweets doing?
