I don't really get to see a lot of other comedians, because I work with the same people all the time. The guy I really like is Nick DiPaulo. I love Nick DiPaulo, but again, he's a buddy of mine. But I liked him for a long time. I liked him before he was a buddy of mine.

Larry the Cable Guy

I'm so sick of gay this, gay that. I could care less. It ain't affecting my life at all.

Larry the Cable Guy

I've always felt that if you've been blessed, you should try to help as many people as you can. I just think that's the right thing to do.

Larry the Cable Guy

I was always a fan of the old-style comics. I loved vaudeville. I loved Milton Berle, Dick Shawn, Phyllis Diller, Don Rickles, Charlie Callas, all those guys. Hilarious. I love the Bing Crosby and Bob Hope movies, and Abbott & Costello. My television influences were 'Monty Python's Flying Circus,' 'Benny Hill,' and 'Hee Haw.'

Larry the Cable Guy

As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm thinking, 'Who cares? They're laughing.' If you go on stage, and they're laughing at you full-on for 60 minutes? You know, whatever puts them in the seats.

Larry the Cable Guy

I'm saying, Come on, the global warming thing? How did the ice melt during the ice ages? Was the dinosaurs driving SUVs around back then?

Larry the Cable Guy

I love food: biscuits and gravy, cheese grits, spaghetti and meatballs, chicken-fried steak with white gravy... but my favorite dish is my wife's beanie weenie cornbread casserole. It's so good. It sounds stupid, but if you eat it, it's heaven. Of course, it's only something you can eat if you've got a lot of money.

Larry the Cable Guy

Our whole wedding cost 180 bucks. Afterward, we re-heated lasagna for everyone and set off fireworks.

Larry the Cable Guy

The thing that's changed the way I do my stand-up act is having kids and getting older and wiser and smarter. There might be a joke or two in the past that I wish I hadn't done, but in the past, you can't have it back.

Larry the Cable Guy

Every July, I look forward to taping a Christmas show - in July in Nashville. In 98-degree weather. I love it.

Larry the Cable Guy

I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware of it. You don't need a sign to tell anybody about it.

Larry the Cable Guy

I'm not a party guy, and I'm not a Hollywood guy, either.

Larry the Cable Guy

I think probably one of the coolest things was when I went to play basketball at Rucker Park in Harlem. First of all, who would think that Larry the Cable Guy would go to Harlem to play basketball? And I was received like a rock star. It was amazing! There were people everywhere. There were guys walking by yelling, 'Git 'r done!'

Larry the Cable Guy

I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in the world couldn't spell. I judge a person by their character.

Larry the Cable Guy

I've never judged anybody by how they look or how they dress. I basically judge them on their character. And that's how I lead my own life.

Larry the Cable Guy

The only reason I'm ever in character as 'Larry The Cable Guy' is because that's what I'm hired to do. In my movies, obviously they hired 'Larry The Cable Guy' to be 'Larry The Cable Guy.' When I do my shows, I'm 'Larry The Cable Guy.' When I do Jay Leno, it's: 'Please welcome 'Larry The Cable Guy.'

Larry the Cable Guy

It's nice if people can finally loosen up a little bit and just go out laugh at silliness. I mean, people take themselves way too seriously sometimes.

Larry the Cable Guy

When Pixar calls and says, 'Hey, you wanna be in a Pixar movie?' you don't do a lot of contemplating!

Larry the Cable Guy

What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh, and because I know a couple of people that talk like that. They're really that Southern. And they do funny things. I love 'em; they're awesome. They're good people.

Larry the Cable Guy

We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.

Larry the Cable Guy

Tony Orlando is one of the nicest guys I have ever met - bar none - in my entire life. I was always a fan when I was a kid - you know, huge fan. Who wasn't a fan of Tony Orlando?

Larry the Cable Guy