You can't pretend to be witty because wit is dry, subtle, lacerating, cynical, elitist, and risque - all impossible to fake. Humor, on the other hand, is broad, soothing, positive, inclusive, and smutty - to make sure everybody gets it. Pretending to be humorous is easy, and a great many people are doing it.

Florence King

Children crave routine and find listening to the same stories over and over again soothing. If you've grown weary of the holiday books you've read your kid 7,883 times, try adding 'dude' to the end of every line of dialogue.

Adam Mansbach

I find it soothing to take something wrinkled and make it smooth. It feels anticipatory. It's what I do before a celebration. And nobody bothers me when I'm ironing.

Alexandra Stoddard

We must be practical. Talking about trade and other nice things are more soothing to the ear than security. But it won't be until we have sufficient security against internal, regional, and continental threats that we can be sure of real development.

Ali Bongo Ondimba

There's something very soothing about the simplicity of doing what's right in front of you: paying the rent, buying groceries, and when there's a little extra for a treat like cinnamon rolls, whoopee! When you live paycheck to paycheck, you only have so much to lose.

Ali Liebegott

To spend time in Silicon Valley in a year of political upheaval is, on one level, soothing. It is pleasant to hear talk of wearables, walled gardens, and disruptive beverages in between updates about mass deportation.

Anand Giridharadas

Everyone has a different opinion when it comes to caffeine during pregnancy. I work full time, and with the extreme exhaustion pregnancy brings, I need a little boost a couple of times a day. On days when I can't stomach coffee, green tea has also proven to be very helpful and soothing.

Anna Kaiser

There is something so settled and stodgy about turning a great romance into next of kin on an emergency room form, and something so soothing and special, too.

Anna Quindlen

If I want to hear a voice, Lana Del Rey is very soothing, and I could just listen to her on repeat, but my real go-to that's been very consistent for at least the past ten years is Miles Davis.

Antoni Porowski

I like Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream, as it's great for soothing dry skin and adding shine. I use it instead of balm, too.

Ashley Madekwe

My music seems to have a bigger mission than I have, which is very soothing but also very strange because people see more in me than I see, which can be terrifying.

Aurora

Accepting that part of the process of writing is deleting a lot of what you write is soothing, at least to me.

Brad Feld

It's self-soothing for me to draw. So if I'm upset, drawing makes me less upset.

Bruce Eric Kaplan

In a world where so much happens through computer screens, making a meal by hand, touching the raw materials, feeling your way through a recipe, tasting, adjusting, engaging all the senses, can be a soothing release.

Carl Honore

I've started to really nurture a bedtime routine, which, for me, starts with caffeine-free tea, usually rooibos or jasmine tea, something soothing, very fragrant, just a reminder to get back to your senses.

Caroline Ghosn

I love listening to Radio Head's 'Everything in its Right Place' because it's all major chords, it makes you feel really good. It's soothing, it's got a beautiful voice, crazy textures. When I'm down I listen to that song and it really makes me feel good.

Casey Abrams

Every time you get told you get a part, it's just wonderfully soothing and incredibly fantastic and healing. You have a bad day at school, you come home and get told you've got a part in something, and it's just like, 'Yeah, it's all worth it'.

Charlie Rowe

My all-time favorite skin cream is from Poland. Its called Eva Natura with Polish herbs, including rosemary. It smells wonderful and is soothing and comforting.

Dagmara Dominczyk

The reason I'm drawn to it is - both the off road racing and the motorcycles on the track - it takes a lot for me to quiet my brain and anything that requires 100% of my attention and focus I find very soothing and that is the closest I get to being content.

Dax Shepard

Iraq lacks leaders capable of soothing sectarian wounds, and Western attempts to pick them or force their hand invite anti-imperialist backlash.

Dominic Raab

The simple life on the farm was everything to me. Nothing was more relaxing after a long plane flight than to reach the winding driveway that led up to my house. The quiet of the night was more soothing than a sleeping pill.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross