I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.
Bob Newhart
People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.
I was never a Certified Public Accountant... I just had a degree in accounting. The reason I was never a Certified Public Accountant was because it would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.
Stammering is different than stuttering. Stutterers have trouble with the letters, while stammerers trip over entire parts of a sentence. We stammerers generally think of ourselves as very bright.
I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.
Don Rickles and I are best friends. I know that might seem strange to those who know Don only by reputation, but somebody has to be his friend. Just to make sure I don't forget, Don gave me a doormat that sits just outside the front door of my house. It reads: 'The Newharts: The Rickleses Best Friends.'
This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.
Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.
I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.
With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than their knowledge of how to tell a joke is their knowledge of themselves, or the persona they've created as themselves. So that when you're in a room with writers, you can say, 'Guys, that's a funny line, but I wouldn't say it.'
The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour.
I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.
I worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn't what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and decided I was just going to give comedy a try.
I just don't think most people put myself and Robert Frost in the same category.
All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world.
I wasn't the class clown. I wasn't that obvious. There would be a circle of guys, and they're watching the class clown. And I'm standing in the back, and I turn to the guy next to me and I say something funny to him, and he starts to laugh. And the guy next to him says, 'What did he say?'
A lot of money is spent trying to keep people alive who don't necessarily want to be alive.
I've been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I'm just another slightly amusing accountant.
There was a sea of change in comedy in the late 1950s and '60s. We were dealing with vignettes as opposed to jokes. We were more socially aware.
When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you're out on the end of the plank.
I made a record album in 1960 and it exploded, and I got all these offers for TV.
The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place.
Dick Martin, if you put a gun to his forehead, he couldn't tell you a joke.
Don't live in the past. There's no point. You can't change anything. What a waste of time.
Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.
If you look at Jack Benny, George Burns, or Don Rickles, they've all had long, successful marriages. So, I think there's something about laughter and the durability of a marriage.
With the advent of cell phones, especially with the very small microphone that attach to the cell phone itself, it's getting harder and harder I find, to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone.
You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am... a dry sense of humor.
I remember seeing a movie with Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney where they were husband and wife, and they got in bed, and he had on polka-dot pajamas and she had on striped pajamas, and when they got up the next morning he had on the striped pajamas and she had the polka dot pajamas, and that was considered racy at that time!
The best advice I was probably given and the best advice I could give someone who is trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to work to hone your skills.
For some reason, comedians are still children. The social skills somehow never reach us, so we say exactly what we think without weighing the results.
I found the most difficult thing when you became successful - when I had the record album, it won Album of the Year - that you were cut off from the source of your material. Your material was everyday people, and you were kind of cut off from that, and you had to work at it.
I always hated when the studios just kind of said that anybody can act. You look at people like Spencer Tracy, Henry Fonda - and I'm just talking about the male actors - there aren't a lot who can act. It's a very special talent, and I wish it were recognized as a very special talent.
Well, my career choice made a difference because I never would have met my wife, Jenny. I met her through comedian Buddy Hackett. He set us up on a blind date and then we got married.
I loved 'Everybody Loves Raymond' because I like Ray and I thought it was beautifully cast, I thought it was great writing. I thought Patricia Heaton was wonderful.
Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history.
I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.
The greatest comedian I've ever seen is Jack Benny. He wasn't afraid of the silences.
I don't think too much about age. Maybe if you're hurting, aching and arthritic, then you think about it a lot. But I don't.
I'm not what you'd call a Method actor.
People have told me, 'My dad passed on, but I have great memories of watching your shows with him.' It doesn't get any better than that.
I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's still an affection for it.
I can't do a one-camera show. I don't know how to do that kind of show where you count in your head and then you do the next line.
I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable.
Comedians are innately programmed to pick up oddities like mispronounced words, upside-down books on a shelf, and generally undetectable mistakes in everyday life.
People are meant to be certain places, and I think I'm meant to be on a sound stage doing situation comedy.
The first time I heard Richard Pryor, I knew he would be a major force in the world of comedy.
I've always said people say on a dramatic show, 'I was crying. It was so emotional when he went and grabbed that little girl from a burning building and handed her over to her mother.' In comedy, the best thing you can say is, 'I think it's funny.'
When I was off TV, people would ask me to please come back, which I think was their way of saying, 'There's nothing out there for us.'
