A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.
Arthur Baer
A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.
If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.
It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.
A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.
If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.
It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.
It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins.
His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.
Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.
Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.
His head was full of larceny, but his feet were honest.
She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.
The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.
She's generous to a fault - if it's her own.
