I always think about the idea that God never gives you more than you can handle, and just the idea that God would be looking at me and thinking, 'Eh, I think she can handle more.' And the angels thinking, 'What are you doing? You're a lunatic.' And God being like, 'No, no, trust me. She can handle this.'
Tig Notaro
Not many people have had as much bad luck as I have, but not many people have had as much good luck, either.
The funny response to 'One Mississippi' continues to be that people don't know what is true and what's fiction.
I'm not a religious person; I'm not even, like, a spiritual person.
After 2012, I thought, 'Oh wow, I've lived through this, and now I have a free ride in life.' And I can't believe I really thought that. As soon as I was healed from cancer and everything I was going through, I got back out into life and realized it doesn't work out like that.
One of my favorite songs is 'Ghost' by Indigo Girls. Emily Saliers wrote that, and she is one of the most talented songwriters ever.
I can't waste more time worrying unless something surfaces that should legitimately cause fear.
I can't help but see things in life through a humorous lens, so anything that comes my way is gonna probably be, you know, bent in that direction.
Before I had a double mastectomy, I was already pretty flat-chested, and I made so many jokes over the years about how small my chest was that I started to think that maybe my boobs overheard me... and were just like, 'You know what? We're sick of this. Let's kill her.'
I failed eighth grade twice, and then they moved me up to ninth grade. Then I failed that and dropped out. My teacher would hand me a test, and I'd grade it myself with an F, then put my head down on the desk.
Even in losing my mother, beautiful, amazing awakenings have happened within my family. Of course, losing her is not what you want. The things that happened after her death, she would be so just beside herself with joy that life turned out that way.
Luckily, I don't think that I'm too famous. I can still live my life pretty comfortably. Fame has never really ever appealed to me. I think it's easy to see that it's not a great thing to have.
I definitely still like writing one-liners, but I also think that I've changed a lot in that I've allowed myself freedom to grow.
I don't thrive on misery myself. I mean, I've obviously created during a time of misery, but I also create from a place of joy.
If I'm caught off guard or I'm not in a great mood, or if I'm feeling down or if I'm in my head and somebody comes up to me and I can't match the energy, I just have to think, 'Well, I did my job, which was to do the show or release the album or be in the TV show or write the joke. Beyond that, it's kind of a hit or miss what happens between us.'
I'm not for everyone.
I've toured around the world. I've worked with men, women. I feel like I've been unusually lucky to have supportive friends around me, and I feel tremendously supportive about my peers. I can't wait to brag about how funny my friends are.
My mother was a very, very funny, outrageous, outspoken person, and she never edited me. Her whole thing in my life was if anybody had a problem with me, tell them to go to hell.
I just absolutely adore Denver and the Boulder area. Having lived there several times, it feels like home to me.
I want to be silly, and that's being authentic just as much as being open and honest. It's authentic to make weird clown horn noises when it strikes you.
People write me every day. It feels like this cycle that keeps giving, because as far along as I get in my happiness and success, hearing other people's stories is a constant reminder of where I came from, where people are, and how much help everybody still needs.
Reminding myself that I have a tailbone keeps me in check.
My favorite thing to wear from about first to third grade was a blue t-shirt with an iron-on monkey and the caption 'Here Comes Trouble.'
You can think you're living in the moment and you're thankful, but when somebody comes face to face with you and says, 'I just lost my child,' or 'I have months to live, and thank you...' I'm of course sad for them, but I'm thankful that I gave them a gift and they're giving me a gift.
There's definitely been moments in my life, even recently, where I've taken chances or spoken up about something where I don't know how it's gonna go, but it is true, or it is my truth. That's kind of that trusting life.
I'm going to sound like an egomaniac, but I'm proud of so many things. I feel proud of my book, 'I'm Just A Person,' proud of my HBO special. I'm proud of a lot of things.
People have responded to my stories so well. They come up after a show and say things like, 'Your album really helped me,' or 'I have stage four cancer. I'm terminally ill.' Somebody told me it gave them the courage to die.
A lot of comedians get a bad rep once they have kids and that's all they talk about, and people are like, 'I don't want to hear about your kids!' I'm like, 'Prepare yourselves. That's all I'm going to talk about.'
Maybe almost 20 years ago, I was like, 'God, I need to be more direct.' And I found times that I could practice it when it was maybe not my family or friends or co-workers. It's a quality that's rarely disliked.
I never really consider myself an awkward person, but once I got into stand-up, I kept hearing that word. The only thing I can trace it back to is that my mom had a similar sensibility. She always made people uncomfortable.
I just try not to think too much about how I'm perceived. I think as long as I'm still selling tickets and can pay my mortgage, then people are probably thinking good enough things or whatever about me to keep the train moving.
People love to make comedians out to be miserable, dark, twisted people. And I just - I think a lot of people struggle with depression and mental illness and have issues and problems within their family. The mailman has it. Your neighbor has it. It's just that comedians have a microphone.
I didn't like to stop playing for a second to bother with eating or going to the bathroom. I was a really skinny kid, and I remember my mother always telling people, 'I don't know how she's alive. I think she gets all of her nutrients from air pollution.'
I love devastating movies, documentaries and hummingbirds (yes, in that order).
I was very into animals and nature, and really obsessed with cats and monkeys. I used to play in the woods, wander off into the woods for hours. I'd bring a clipboard and think that I was doing some work out there, following the trails of raccoons or collecting bird feathers.
I got my first guitar when I was nine because I wanted to be the fifth Beatle, even though they had already broken up and John Lennon died that year.
Luckily, I'm not a gambler or a drinker or - you know, I get my fix of comedy.
I want people to talk about my comedy, about cancer, about body issues, about scars, because cancer, it's a big deal, but scars are not a big deal. My skin healed. Relax, you know? That's all it is.
Sometimes I get a little exhausted by shows or movies that are constantly throwing famous people on. And I find it so much more exciting to not have that when I'm watching something. I think it allows you to get more lost in something and also to bring more attention to more unknown or less recognizable people.
People ask what my influences are, and for me, it's not always obvious. One of my biggest inspirations was Chrissie Hynde from the Pretenders. That's based on how she just does whatever she wants to do, and I love her attitude about everything. It bleeds over into my way of thinking and comedy.
It's important that when you do standup, you do small places like coffee shops and also big places like colleges. It helps you find the little nuances in your set that don't work, and you can shave off the excess.
Stand-up is very broad strokes, kind of a skeleton of a story or something.
My career has always kind of moved forward and upward. I've never had anything kind of stall out or go in the opposite direction. I've always kind of been moving in the right direction.
Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn't anything I pursued.
It was a free-for-all with music when I was growing up. My mother was a huge music fanatic so I was listening to everything from country to heavy metal to Indigo Girls to Elton John. I guess when I was really young I didn't like Willie Nelson, and she obviously loved him. Now I do too, I'm so thankful to her for playing his music nonstop.
I have somebody I admire and want to keep at a distance. I've had the opportunity to meet her a couple of times - it's Chrissie Hynde from The Pretenders. I just am nuts about her, but I have no interest in meeting her because I just don't think she could live up to what she's been to me in my head.
When I was first asked for an autograph, I felt so uncomfortable that I just wrote, 'Tig's Autograph,' and from then on, that's what I write when I sign my name.
If someone doesn't want me working their club, they're not going to hear from me again. I'm not going to fight or complain about it. I'd rather go someplace else.
As a kid, I loved Paula Poundstone and Richard Pryor. But my mother was a huge influence on my comedy.
I'm not opposed to talking about airline food.
