I walked into the wrong examination room. I'm bad enough at facial recognition... I saw more that day than I cared to. Fortunately, I didn't recognize her from that angle, whoever it was, and I didn't ask. I'm off to a rocky start on the road to fatherhood, but I got a free view.

Simon Helberg

I have great instincts, like the instincts of a squirrel. You know, like when you're driving and a squirrel stops in the middle of the road.

Simon Helberg

It's not the coolest thing in the world to be walking around humming the Taylor Swift song. It's not as cool to be singing along with the number one song in the country as it is to be the jaded, indifferent hipster who wants to turn you on to something that nobody else is talking about.

Simon Helberg

I watched a lot of 'I Love Lucy.' Then I went to college, and I didn't watch TV, really. I don't know: something happened after 'Friends' went off the air. I think something dipped in the whole sitcom world.

Simon Helberg

Failing passionately is a success in its own right.

Simon Helberg

I enjoy spending my spare time with my wife, our cat, and our bird.

Simon Helberg

I own a fart CD. It has, I believe, over 100 fart sounds. A lovely variety, from the up-close and personal to the more experimental and dissonant. Some people prefer to listen to Bach when they go to sleep... not me.

Simon Helberg

I grew up surrounded by sketch comedy.

Simon Helberg

I certainly think, obviously, rhythm is a huge part of being an actor. It just is unconscious, to a degree, but particularly in comedy, rhythm is pretty essential, and there's probably something more physiological going on.

Simon Helberg

I've learned over time that human beings tend to want to do more than they have the courage to do or that the social contract will allow them to do.

Simon Helberg

My dad was one of the original members of the Groundlings, and I watched him as an actor have ups and downs, and I watched my mom as a casting director have ups and downs.

Simon Helberg

In America, the first thing people say is, 'What do you do?'

Simon Helberg

I love Jerry Lewis. I loved Jim Carrey when I was younger, and Mike Myers and Phil Hartman, all the 'Saturday Night Live' people in the late '80s.

Simon Helberg

I'm interested in character and people and motivations and things like that.

Simon Helberg

I actually struggled through teaching myself to cook because I'm completely ignorant in the kitchen. So I did really macho things like trying to make my own curry. Really hardcore stuff.

Simon Helberg

I thought it was going to be a hut in Topanga and Janis Joplin was going to come out, but it's a real doctor... I went to Beverly Hills to meet this midwife; you'd think they'd be in nature.

Simon Helberg

I wouldn't wear turtlenecks. That I'm not envious of. But who knows? I might sneak out a few things and hope and pray that no one says, 'Hey, didn't you wear that when you were playing an enormous geek on TV?'

Simon Helberg

There are those moments where you realize that your parents or your heroes are human and are fallible.

Simon Helberg

Karate probably gave me an incredibly deep awareness of all the parts of me, my flexibility, and the nimble qualities I'm doing, even if they're unconscious.

Simon Helberg

I'm deeply insecure. I ask my wife all the time, 'Was that OK? Are people lying?' I'm not as happily oblivious as I'd like.

Simon Helberg

When you see someone putting themselves out there, particularly when you see someone is failing and failing so passionately, it brings up this bittersweet connection to our mortality.

Simon Helberg