When you're righteous, you don't have to tell people that you're righteous.

Challenge me. Treat me like a game of checkers and play me. That's all I'm asking, just play me. Treat me like Sega and play me.

I have never been a shooter.

I don't get nervous in any situation. There's no such thing as nerves when you're playing games.

That is why one day I said my game will be like the Pythagorean Theorem - hard to figure out. A lot of people really don't know the Pythagorean Theory. They don't make them like me anymore. They don't want to make them like that anymore.

My father made me who I am. He gave me a basketball and told me to play with the ball, sleep with the ball, dream with the ball. Just don't take it to school. I used it as a pillow, and it never gave me a stiff neck.

One lucky shot deserves another.

My job has always been to entertain people. I want people to laugh.

I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

I'm a weird big guy. Doing rapping, doing movies. Do a lot of stuff. But always do things the right way.

But, hey I did everything the right way and earned my spot in this game, nothing was given to me.

We're just going to come out and play. We know that we're supposed to win all the games, but if we don't, we just have to take the next game and focus on what we did wrong in the game before and just try to do better at the next game.

I play against a front and a back every night, Ming does not have to do that, Duncan does not have to do that, Garnett doesn't do that. I am the only one that has to do that.

I started out as a young Ninja and killed all of the Shoguns. I am a Shogun now and I'm holding my spot. There probably won't be another Shogun after this.

I am the number one Ninja and I have killed all the Shoguns in front of me.

I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it's not how you start the date, it's how you finish it sir. A lot of people can, you know, start the date with flowers and candy, but if you don't finish the date - you know what I mean?

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.

I just want to keep people entertained.

I've met a lot of artists who wanted to paint me. LeRoy Neiman was one. He did it from a photograph. He made 20,000 copies, and we sold them all.

I'm very excited about my new agreement with the Heat. This contract allows me to address all of my family's long-term financial goals while allowing the Heat the ability to acquire those players that we need to win a championship.

Someday I might have to put down a basketball and have a regular 9-to-5 like everybody else.

Nobody's going to tell me how to be different, so stop asking me. Stop asking me what two-plus-two is. Everybody knows two-plus-two is five.

I love race car drivers, I love gymnastics, I love UFC, I love police officers, I love firefighters. I just try to give them the same enjoyment they give me.

I'm on a mission. And I know the older I get, I may lose a step or two, but it's all up in the medulla oblongata. I've got a lot up there. I've got a lot of knowledge... in this medulla oblongata.

I want to be known as 'The Big Shakespeare.' It was Shakespeare that said, 'Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them.'

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing.

I'm very educated and can give you somewhat of a vocabulary, but I don't get to the philosophical side.

I do what I do. Always.

Kids can still call me Shaq, but adults should call me Dr. O'Neal.

Look up the word role in the dictionary and you'll see it means playing a part. That's why I call myself a real model.

When I get old, I'm going to the old folks' home. I don't want to be one of those guys who's hanging around the house bothering the kids. But not just any old folks' home. I want the whole top floor.