Ten years ago, I went to visit my dad in Australia. I walked to the edge of a cliff and looked over and tripped. I righted myself but my head was over the edge. No one saw it.
Sara Pascoe
I honestly believe true happiness lies in lowered expectations. In opening the door to let the air in.
When I was a small child we were allowed to wait up until midnight on 31 December. Then as the TV chimed, Dad would run to the front door and open it, welcoming the New Year air. This is the kind of entertainment you make in poor families, and cry to your therapist about when you're rich.
As an adult, my hero is my dog, Mouse. He is so friendly to everyone he meets. He wags his tail and loves everyone, like Jesus!
We don't live in a world where, if you commit a crime, your life's over. We as a society believe in rehabilitation. We believe in second and third chances.
When I was 18, I moved out of home. I decided to try to be an actor, so took myself off to slum it with nine humans and a million mice in a red Leytonstone house.
I hate how old people get in my way when I'm swimming. You're trying to get into the zone and normally, if there's someone faster than you, you get out of the way, but old people don't; they're like, you can go round me. I give a little tut when I pass them.
I wore a padded bra every single day and night from the age of 14 until I was 31. Giving up padding was my New Year's resolution. I had known for ages that wearing a stuffed bra was a form of hiding my real body.
If a bright-coated fundraiser was hassling a confused pensioner in the street, people would see, some hero would intervene. But it's happening in living rooms on landlines, and it will continue.
People learn more when they're enjoying themselves.
I really respect the work and speeches of Tony Benn. He was a powerful speaker with a huge heart.
Pride and Prejudice' is set in the early 19th century. At that time, women had the legal status of children. A daughter was the property of her father until marriage, when her ownership passed to her husband.
There's social media where people's politics are out there, they're forwarding articles and seem engaged, but it's only online. We tweet and pat ourselves on the back, thinking we have done something, said we're interested, but it needs more work.
I was exceptionally opinionated as a teenager, never afraid to rant and ruin a birthday party or cinema trip.
My earliest food memory is being starving hungry after swimming. I think that's quite common with children: the second you're out of the water you want to have a Twix, a cup of tea and chips and salty stuff.
I am very short-sighted but I don't wear my glasses as they give me a headache, so if everyone could just stand closer to me that would help.
When I started watching comedy there was a lot of negativity about women; a lot of comics were spewing out aggressive, violent and negative material.
The pancreas releases insulin to make you ready for fight or flight when you're scared. So if you don't fight or flight - if you stay onstage, telling jokes - then your body stores more fat in your tummy which makes you insulin resistant. All comedians have fat bellies, even if they exercise.
If we accept ourselves as animals, and have empathy and tolerance, compassion to others, understand that humans are territorial, aggressive and have gender aspects, then we can change things.
I try so hard to be tolerant of everyone and their choices, but people who harm pets or support factory farming have an enemy in me.
The more you learn, the more becomes possible in life.
I would have been an essayist in the 18th century. Maybe I'd have had one gag in the piece, but essentially I'd be saying something.
The podcast is a bit like a phone call, except you don't say anything.
When podcasts are in charge there will be no wars, just ears. That will probably be our motto, but in Latin. In our podcastian future, we'll comprehend that each story has another angle, every case a contradictory piece of evidence.
Even quicker than the development of super-technology is the human adaptation to taking it for granted. We live in a world where regular people converse publicly with an inanimate object and escape Bedlam or a dunking.
I'm always thinking about being inclusive in my sentences.
I have to remind myself that I am a comic, I'm not a politician.
Backstage at the Apollo isn't a fun place to be. It's a bit like a prison: small rooms filled with warm Diet Coke.
That's the thing: when I listen on public transport, my headphones act as a separator - a wired barrier between me and the nearest people. Yet my podcasts drag me through the depths of human nature.
I thought all comedy was stupid. I went to watch a friend do stand-up and I thought absolutely everyone was terrible.
Bodies have a sex, but gender is a thing we made up, like your star sign or nationality. It doesn't really say anything about who you are. The destruction of gender binary would free everybody.
I'm a vegan and London's great for vegans.
The only reason you would hate to be compared to 'Fleabag' is if you were said to be 'not as good as Fleabag'.
Sometimes I am lucky enough to hang out with Tim Key and he is constantly funny. Every moment. When I haven't seen him for a bit I do his voice in my head to entertain myself.
I don't feel like a very feminine woman sometimes. I feel manly. When I was in my twenties I would say I was a masculine girl and now I realise the whole idea of femaleness is a construct. I'm a boyish girl, who talks over people and I do a boyish job.
Orange Is the New Black' is the womanliest TV show that has ever existed. It doesn't merely pass the Bechdel test, it gets all As and goes straight to Oxbridge, even though it's only three years old.
When I was a child, I had an intense fear of going to prison. I wasn't on the run or anything - my crimes were small and they were all against fashion. But I had nightmares about accidentally killing someone, or being falsely accused.
It's interesting that reading, like listening to podcasts, is a lone pursuit, one where we keep our mouths shut and let someone else do the talking. Where we absorb rather than emit. By occasionally isolating ourselves, we can more successfully, more generously, socialise.
Comedy, surprisingly for a form that intends to bring joy and joviality, is always upsetting people. Jokes rely on broad strokes, stereotypes, caricatures, exaggerations and simplifications.
The love of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy is reliant on the restrictions of Regency culture, their passion is created by repression.
I was always obsessed with ancient Egypt, but any time you go back to wouldn't be as good for women as now - so it might be a quick visit.
It's unfair but true: youth is attractive, curvy women are attractive, outliers who look a bit different to everybody else are attractive.
I've been an actor since I was 18. So that's my proper job. But I was not a very successful actor, if you consider being able to afford your rent successful. I did lots of old people's tours; reminiscence tours.
Culturally even, you have shows like 'Friends' or 'Sex in the City' that are imbibed along with like fairy stories, which are all about The One. Then we feel like we're looking for it, and if relationships end, what we've experienced isn't valid.
When I was at university, I did essays on political theatre. And it was really frustrating that the ideas weren't reaching the people they were talking about. Standup is the one place where you are talking to every level of society.
Many of my memories of my mum are of her in the bath with a book, utilising her limited spare time by simultaneously washing and studying. She left school with no qualifications and now has a PhD. If I seem like I am bragging about this, I am.
The cliche of call-centre work is that it's mainly older people who will stay on the line to talk to you. Whether through loneliness or good manners, they tend to allow you to finish your sentences, hear you out.
Worse than useless, I worry e-petitions are detrimental, with their sense of catharsis and mini-activism. Channelling away agitation, giving us the opportunity to show all our Facebook friends just exactly how great we are at being compassionate.
I did an open air gig in Regent's Park and that's an incredible venue because the sun sort of sets while you're on stage and you can see the audience so brightly.
I became a vegetarian at seven. I went on a school trip to a farm and loved the animals.
