I buy a lot of Liverpool trinkets. I've got Philippe Coutinho's boot - I spent three grand on that. Which, you know, is insane. But it's Philippe Coutinho's boot, what you gonna do?
Russell Howard
I don't want to do a rabidly left-wing show. I think it's much more interesting to turn the knife on yourself.
Most comics' first gig is either brilliant or horrific.
I do cryotherapy, which is where you're in minus 70 and you have three minutes of deep freeze and your body thinks it's dying so it produces loads of blood cells and then you're fine - apparently.
I've been doing stand-up for 15 years and I've never even been invited to the Comedy Awards! How mental is that?
I'm not the kind of comic who would try stuff on Twitter, because I have to work up ideas and I can only do that in front of people.
Tommy Tiernan is an Irish comic who I believe is one of the finest in the world.
I don't really do any corporate gigs or I don't really cash in which is a bit silly and much to the annoyance of my family. I'd rather just do gigs that I like and TV shows that I like rather than personal appearances at a nightclub.
If the front-page news is a comedian doing a joke that people think is naughty, that proves there's no real news that day, does it not?
When you see the American chat shows, they've got so many ideas about what they could with the guests. I did stand-up on 'Jimmy Fallon' and they had loads of sketches and ideas, we don't tend to do that here.
I'm really not into technology at all. My brother has to plug the Xbox in for me.
I broke my wrist on TV trying to do a one-armed push-up. A lot of people delight in pointing this out to me.
I just assume a lot of people hate me. You just have to suck it up.
I'd like to have kids.
I think all our leaders are utterly beneath us. You just watch 'Prime Minister's Questions' and go: 'How is this the best that we've got?'
I buck the trend: I eat avocados on a Sunday morning and I'm a homeowner.
Portland is incredible. It's the most amazing place.
I'll sit down for 'Stranger Things' or 'The Handmaid's Tale' - or a really good documentary.
I have a friend called James who is in his 40s and he's still not allowed to swear in front of his mum. I find it strange that you can't be yourself and be open with the one person who brought you into this world.
It's a bit of a cliche but throughout London, even in places like Notting Hill, you'll see utter luxury alongside council flats - it shows the tapestry of life and I adore that.
I think you just have to be comfortable in your own skin, and when I do stand-up or the show I'm in a really good mood.
The last thing you want to do is preach to the converted. What you want to do is talk about issues from a non-political point of view, from a human point of view.
Sometimes I skip breakfast, pop to the butcher and get sunburned while cooking meat.
Real life is hard. I'm sorry, but shopping at Tesco is not as much fun as writing jokes for TV shows, and I struggle with it.
Death by rats would be the worst.
The strange thing about people considering me upbeat is that I'm really not.
Genuinely, the first gig I did when I was 18, it felt like the world shifted. I realised that I had stumbled upon a mechanism through which you could view life.
I'm not a particularly ambitious person.
I lived at home until I was 23.
I would just like to be remembered.
It takes a lot to stop myself scrambling around and reading the news.
I'm a bit of a Luddite.
I love Dublin and the locals are extraordinary.
I'm a very early riser on holiday. I am invariably down at the pool on a sun lounger even before anyone can put a towel on one.
Los Angeles feels empty and overrated. I struggle with it as a holiday destination. It's the sort of place where you need to know some locals, otherwise it just feels so empty.
Mumbai was magical, which I was really surprised by, and I got an insight into the world of Bollywood while hanging out with some Bollywood film stars while there.
I just don't care what people like Lily Allen think about stuff.
If you want any attention in the Howard household, you have to shout quite loudly and try to develop a personality.
Doing the O2 Arena in London in 2011 was pretty awesome.
I find it really weird, when I'm shopping in Tesco, the amount of times I have people like: 'What you doing in here? You're famous!'
I bought my mum a car, and I bought my brother one of those hoverboards for Christmas, and I bought my family a holiday to Australia.
I'd been writing jokes since I was 16, not very good ones though, but I was always trying to make my mates laugh.
The Edinburgh Fringe is a tough beast and you do whatever you can to get through it. But it's really the worst place to see comedians; everyone is so tense and nervous because it feels like Ofsted inspectors are out there.
I just couldn't do a comedy show about 'The History Of Dinosaurs;' I'd get bored too easily.
Sometimes improv doesn't work on TV because the audience had heard the thing that was shouted and they're very much alive, the audience in the room - they're alive in that moment. Whereas the audience sat at home on the sofa, it feels like it's part of a party that they haven't been invited to.
It's just a joy travelling with your job. You get to wander around these interesting cities and then things happen or you observe things and you go on stage at the end of the night and chat about it.
Yeah, I'd love to write a film, that'd be great.
I wanna be incidental characters in 'Only Fools and Horses,' that would have been good. I wouldn't mind playing Trigger, Trigger would have been good.
What do you know when you're 19? I was just stomping around doing gigs.
There's a lot of brilliant comics who are amazing, but you can see them doing the same 20 minutes that they were doing five years ago, verbatim. I think that doesn't lend itself to progressing.
