The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
Robert Byrne
Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.
Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.
Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo.
Winter is nature's way of saying, 'Up yours.'
There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.
Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
To err is human, to purr feline.
Byrne's Law: In any electrical circuit, appliances and wiring will burn out to protect fuses.
Doing a thing well is often a waste of time.
A promising young man should go into politics so that he can go on promising for the rest of his life.
Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who already left.
Getting caught is the mother of invention.
Partying is such sweet sorrow.
It's easy to make a cue last a lifetime. Don't boil it or freeze it in the trunk of a car. Don't lean it against a wall for years. If you lose a game to a complete idiot, hit the edge of the table in anger with something other than your cue.
Petty thievery is a more profitable job than pool hustling, which it resembles, requires far less talent and training, and is equally devoid of promise.
A game is great, in my view, only if it can be played happily by a sane person of at least average intelligence for several hours a day for fifty years. Both pool and billiards qualify.
No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one.
Once-dominant games like straight pool and three-cushion billiards have lost ground to eight-ball - the game of choice for millions of tavern league players - and nine-ball, the preeminent tournament game.
To apply spin with security, you must learn to make a snug bridge with your forefinger looped over the cue. When you hit the cueball, follow straight through; don't let your cue rise in the air after impact.
If you know a good player who is tempted by pool hustling, introduce him at once to a career guidance counselor, a psychotherapist, or a surgeon who does lobotomies.
There is money to be made giving trick-shot shows at schools, clubs, tournaments, and even shopping centers. Pool shows on television almost always include a few fancy shots.
Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.
Prejudices save time.
One reason people get divorced is that they run out of gift ideas.
If the numbers keep mounting, newspapers will eventually have to admit that pool exists and give it some coverage.
