I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.

Humor comes from self-confidence.

Virginia Woolf said that writers must be androgynous. I'll go a step further. You must be bisexual.

Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash.

To love without role, without power plays, is revolution.

All creatures tread across the rubble of ruined civilizations. The trick is to keep moving. No animal ever goes about dispensing shallow compassion.

Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name you'd have to pay cash.

Political elections are not life and death.

Leroy bet me I couldn't find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a stupid bet because the rainbow was enough.

Cats and dogs believe politicians are like cemetery caregivers; they are on top of everyone, but nobody listens.

I became a lesbian because of women, because women are beautiful, strong, and compassionate.

Women who love women are Lesbians. Men, because they can only think of women in sexual terms, define Lesbian as sex between women.

I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull.

Don't ask to live in tranquil times. Literature doesn't grow there.

While cats can be infuriating, little old women in fur coats, they make me laugh. Of course, dogs, horses and my highly social chickens are dear to me, too.

I believe in a lively disrespect for most forms of authority.

If you don't like my book, write your own. If you don't think you can write a novel, that ought to tell you something. If you think you can, do. No excuses. If you still don't like my novels, find a book you do like.

I believe you are your work. Don't trade the stuff of your life, time, for nothing more than dollars. That's a rotten bargain.

We animals live life in all its glorious uncertainty. Why do politicians think they can control events?

I've met many irresponsible people in my life but never an irresponsible cat.

I believe the true function of age is memory. I'm recording as fast as I can.

If you like my novels, I commend your good taste.

As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls.

Writers will happen in the best of families.

Art is moral passion married to entertainment. Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television.

I have no idea what will come next in my writing life or life in general. I like not knowing, but I know what I want. That doesn't mean it will happen, but I'll give it my best try.

Every action is either strong or weak, and when every action is strong we are successful.

Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television.

There are very few people who are creative and imaginative. Therefore, fiction is difficult for people to embrace.

Hollywood called just as I crested thirty. My novels did not and still do not interest them, but my writing ability did.

You sell a screenplay like you sell a car. If someone drives it off a cliff, that's it.