I'm not a comedian, but I do make people laugh. I'm good at it.
Miriam Margolyes
Nobody likes Jews. You can't say people like Jews. We're not popular. We're too smart to be liked. But it has been unacceptable to express anti-Semitism since the Holocaust.
I think life is sweeter shared; and if anything were to happen to my partner, I would find it really hard without her because she's the perfect person for my life.
Home is wherever I hang my hat.
What's the difference between herpes and love? Herpes is forever.
Sydney has taken my money, Melbourne has my respect, but Adelaide has taken my heart; I shall return.
I've always felt that Donald Trump was a Dickensian character because he is so ridiculous. With his hair and his arrogance, he is certainly Dickensian in his absurdity.
Communication is something we all take for granted.
I enjoy finding the right word and giving each its full measure, its full space in a sentence.
I had a very good kiss from Bob Monkhouse once. I thought, 'If I was straight, I would go for Bob.'
I was waiting for a train at Waverley Station in Edinburgh. My knee was hurting, so I asked a young man for his seat. He replied, 'There's one over there'. I said, 'Please', and when he refused I poured my water over him.
I wouldn't consider retiring to India: there are too many people, and it's difficult walking along the pavements. I'd love to spend two or three months a year there.
I still miss my parents every day; I adored them. And when you have no children, friends are even more important to you.
In terms of my development as an artist, playing Professor Sprout wasn't all that important because she is well within my capabilities as an actress. But in terms of marketability, it made an enormous difference.
I love political cartoons from the 19th century, and whenever I complete a piece of acting work that I'm particularly proud of, be it a film or play, I treat myself to a picture by caricaturist James Gillray.
The main fear about growing old as an actor is not losing the looks. I never had any to speak of, and what I had I've still got, but losing the memory is another matter.
I'm a silly little needy person sometimes, and I crouch in a room all alone and think of all the people that I wish were with me.
I want to explore the range of emotions it is possible to feel.
With television, attention spans have been shortened. It's something we have to fight against: the dumbing down of the audience. To be part of an audience is a privilege. To be with the people on stage, to let them reach you. If you're doing a million other things, they won't reach you.
It's so important that people know there was a time before the NHS. It makes them appreciate it more.
I used to get into bed with my mother every morning, almost until she died, and talk about everything. She was my closest confidante always. I had no secrets from her.
People tend to think I'm funny and fluffy, but I can switch on a sixpence from extreme happiness to utter despair. I'm aware that doesn't make it easy for people sometimes.
I'm not sure I approve of theatre as a university course. I think theatre's something you do. I mean, literature is a subject; theatre is practical.
Confidence was the backbone of my upbringing. I was an only child, so I was spoilt, loved, and given an enormous amount of confidence by my parents.
I don't think people realise how important it is to have your blood pressure checked. Stroke is so sudden, so catastrophic.
I think Britain is a bit class-ridden. People tend to be judged by how rounded their vowels are.
It's very hard to talk about Palestine to Jewish people - they see me as a betrayer.
I want a comfortable old age and to be looked after - I have arthritis - and money is a factor.
Glenda Jackson called me an amateur in 1976 when we were in a play, 'The White Devil.' I've never forgiven her.
While researching my ancestry I have unearthed many skeletons. It would seem that I come from a long line of ne'er-do-wells, especially on my mother's side.
My feeling is that the English are naturally anti-Semitic.
If I could give my younger self one piece of advice, I would say, 'Lose weight.'
I think I should be described as 'bi' - not bisexual, because I'm not - I'm gay - but 'binational' because I retain British nationality, and I add to it being Australian, which is like having your cake and eating it.
There's a strong melancholic streak in me.
I don't have a very positive attitude towards rappers.
The curious thing is that I embraced homosexuality with as much joy and delight as I've embraced everything else in my life.
My father was a doctor, so I thought I was going to be a doctor, too, but I couldn't do maths; I couldn't do science. I was hopeless at chemistry.
I don't care what I look like. I must be comfortable. Some of my friends have plastic surgery and Botox, but I'm not interested in it.
Unfortunately, I don't know many black people.
People who were gay were pitied and ridiculed by my parents - they had no modern sense of people being allowed to be who they were.
I think all actors get scared because we're frightened to disappoint.
I may have a talent for acting, but I am incapable of doing anything else.
The first piece of property that I bought was in Tuscany in 1973.
Old people have a much better time in India because they're respected.
I have a class prejudice - against the upper class, which is foolish.
I've been fat my whole life and pretended I don't mind. But I do mind. It's really stupid that I've gone on being greedy and fat.
I'm going to be 75 in May. How can I have lived this long and not know anything?
I don't for a second regret my closeness to them because they were wonderful, golden parents who gave me so much confidence.
Although my parents both liked her, they just didn't approve of a same-sex relationship. Nowadays, people say that you must let children be what they are, but when I was growing up, the parents defined the child - and my parents had a definite vision of how they wanted me to be.
I don't like religion.
