I nearly got hit by a car while I was trying to write a stupid joke but a female sheep stood in the way. I can't thank ewe enough.

I get frustrated with companies that present themselves as your mates. They use emojis in the messages they send you, and they're very casual with their back-and-forth. That doesn't work if they've rinsed you of all your money.

As a comic, you just want to be liked.

Best place I've visited is probably Tanzania when I was younger and I'd love to go to America as I haven't been to loads of places there yet.

Alan Carr is an out and proud gay man but there isn't a famous bisexual equivalent - it's a lot rarer.

Even though I now eat meat, I have halloumi every day - even at breakfast.

Normally during the week between Christmas and New Year I'm slumped in a chair in Birmingham, eating, farting and spouting total nonsense.

I nearly got hit by a car while I was trying to write a stupid joke but a female sheep stood in the way. I can't thank ewe enough.

I try and avoid the big comics in Edinburgh. You can see them on tour. Edinburgh is all about seeing the smaller comedians.

I've developed a fun text when a friend has just had a baby. I ask a classic question: 'Are you sleeping?' The reply is inevitably that they aren't, they're getting a few hours here and there, they're exhausted. It's then when I swoop in: 'It'll all be worth it when they're softly stroking your hair as you slip into oblivion.'

Companies ignoring their customers. I think it's unforgivable. And I count using a chatbot on your website as ignoring your customers. Stop doing it.

I'm a bit done with weddings. There are so many and I'm so bored of them.

If you organise a dinner party, and two guests cancel, it is still a dinner party: you still get to eat dinner.

I am a rare millennial who managed to buy property thanks to a mix of highly lucrative TV panel show work and employing Gary Barlow as a financial adviser.

I don't want a little Oliver/Olivia parasite running about eating my biscuits. My friends, on the other hand, are procreating like humanity depends on it, and it doesn't.

There's a viral video of a young girl learning to say 'who' but pronouncing it as 'wah' which I think could be one of the funniest things that has ever happened.

I did a tweet about LGBTQ+ and someone was saying 'what's the + and what's the Q?' and some people would be like 'you should educate yourself it's disgusting, google it.' If I asked the question, they would answer it to me, so just try and treat people in the way I expect to be treated myself. So I do think that's been a problem in our community.

I get frustrated by the way camp is portrayed sometimes. Camp, for me, is a nice 'everyone is welcome' kind of thing rather than an 'ooh, what's she wearing' kind of thing.

Turns out it's bloody hard to make a sculpture that looks like a human head, so I've not bothered. Realism is for squares.

Because lots of LGBTQ people are really smart, and there's so much really interesting reading that can be done, and so much academic writing that's been done about it, people can end up getting quite academic about it.

I keep getting mobbed in M&S and Debenhams. I feel like Barry Manilow.

There's a beautifully simple sketch in the first episode of 'Smack the Pony:' two women approach each other walking their dogs and as they pass the women bark at each other, the dogs remaining perfectly calm. It kills me every time.

People say I'm charming, but I'm uneasy with that word. Quentin Crisp said: 'Charisma is the ability to influence without logic,' which is terrifying.

World domination was never the plan.

In truth, I have absolutely no idea how to value my work.

I am now reconciled to the fact that I am a millennial through and through.

I've attempted tech-free days when I turn off the phone and stare at the iPad instead.

You should always ask for a refund at the theatre, apart from my shows, of course, where I won't be handing out any refunds.

I have always been an extrovert. When I was younger, I would go outside and sing to the flowers and pretend they were the orchestra. As one of my parents' friends said, I was an odd boy.

Since doing comedy, I'm less of a show-off in real life.

I'd done some acting and I didn't like being told what to do by the director, the structure of it.