Being sexually harassed is the worst. Sorry. Let me rephrase that. Being sexually harassed by an ugly guy is the worst... If he's hot, it's just plain old flirting.
Iliza Shlesinger
When you can analyze situations and figure out what's best for you, based on you and not some preconceived notion of what society expects, then nothing is a threat.
I really wanted to do a deep-dive into the idea that women are always called 'crazy,' and we are painted with such broad strokes because it's so easy to stereotype women and write them off. I got tired of that, and I wanted to explain: We are not crazy. There's a method to our madness.
You can hate me for being a woman, you can hate me for being smart, you can hate me for being funny, but you hate me because I am doing something you could never do. End of story.
I'm certainly not a supermodel.
I believe in choosing your words very carefully. It's funny: I'll get comments like, 'Oh I love you. You don't care; you have no filter.' On the contrary, I absolutely have a filter, because I understand decorum, and my objective is not to upset people.
I drink Peet's Coffee, and they're a very authentic company. They don't try to be something that they're not, and I think that's reflective in my comedy as well.
I think we're very quick to rip other women apart when they don't fit our mold, which, quite frankly, is just as bad as a man tearing you down for something, if not worse.
I prefer social politics to politics.
I firmly believe in standing by what you are. I was never taught to dim my light to pacify other people.
I think part of being Jewish is that innate desire to question things. Rabbis sit around all day and question the Torah. Giving yourself the room to question things, in a religion, just breeds thinking.
I want girls to know that whatever you're feeling, I'm feeling too. All the things that you think make you crazy, it's OK to feel that way, and I'm gonna tell you why we feel that way.
Sounds are something that I always emulate - I'll walk around, and if a coffee pot goes off or a phone rings, I'll often mimic the sound. To me, everything's got a voice.
Unfortunately, we don't live in a society where you can say whatever you want, and there will be no repercussions. Pick and choose your battles. I think that's the key.
I think people have to understand that 'empowering' for women doesn't mean negating men.
I've never been a dirty comic.
I really respect Samantha Bee.
I really respect my craft and obligation to my audience.
Whether it be the gym or telling a guy to stop mistreating me or getting through school with a C+ average but making people think I'm much smarter... it's all about strength and how you wear it.
I had a 'Monty Python' CD, and I would listen to it in the car on the way to school. It also refined my British accent. I can do a killer British accent because I'm just imitating 'Monty Python.'
My mother always told me that you should have one room in your house where you celebrate all of your achievements. You shouldn't have them spread throughout.
Standup is a tough job and a gritty job.
Most women have jobs that require them to leave the house. A cat is actually a perfect pet. You get the love and companionship of a creature covered in fur, and you don't have to take it for a walk, and it can feed itself. Less maintenance. Surely any man can appreciate the practicality of this choice.
The more comprehensive your language is, the more likely people are to believe everything you're saying. It really just comes from the power of knowing you're the smartest person in the room, and if you aren't, you're definitely going to sound like it.
I believe in having a neat workspace because everything else in my life is so unpredictable, and my mind is so crowded - I wake up with commercials from the '90s blaring in my head. I try to give myself a fighting chance by having an organized workspace.
I love getting insight into what makes actors tick.
My comedy is a bit cartoonlike, if I really think about it.
I believe in always having a lot of irons in the fire.
The women who are pool waitresses are another worldly species. They're half-desert lizards. They never have sunburns.
A very long time ago, I accepted that travel is just a necessary evil, and unlike many things in my life, I decided going with the flow would make it less painful.
I've had girls that kissed me on the cheek. People get so pumped, and so excited, they don't see you as a person. Which is fair. Sometimes, I don't see people as people. But at the end of the day, you can't put your hands on me unless I hug you first.
I've do a lot of USO shows and do whatever I can to support the military.
You can't deny the truth. And that's what makes smart comedy so good.
At the end of the day, all there is is making yourself happy.
As women, and as people, we're often forced to choose between pop culture and tearing down celebrities or a show about politics.
At a certain point, I had so much artwork that I decided to respect the art and present them in a nice way, not just on a dusty shelf.
You're never going to please 100 percent of women.
No matter who you date, people are going to make fun of them, jealous people are going to say stuff, people get creepy - all the things that come with the public eye.
My family is funny. I think you're born with the gene.
When all my girlfriends were watching 'ER,' I was watching episodes of 'Kids in the Hall.'
What keeps me going is that this I all there is. I am a comedian, and this is what I do. It's like telling a fish to stop swimming. It'll die.
There's a way to express femininity and independence and strength without going for hanging fruit.
When I started my career, I started with black comics: Bruce Bruce, Mark Curry, Bill Bellamy. It takes all kinds of influences.
Getting to prove yourself in a room that's not your typical demo is an experience every comic should try. It makes you better.
I was always rewarded for being funny. I liked being funny.
My whole life, I knew that I was going to be funny for a living.
I'm always looking for bigger audiences and bigger stages. Really, however I can reach my fans is what will make me happy - well, I'll actually probably never be happy.
I'm going to die unhappy. That's how artists roll!
My hair is just like five pieces of very soft straw that needs managing. I touch my hair a lot, and that makes it crazy.
It's always nice to be paid to be in Las Vegas.
