You will never win if you never begin.
Helen Rowland
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.
Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.
When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.
A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.
Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.
A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.
Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.
The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.
A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.
France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.'
When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last.
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.
Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.
Failing to be there when a man wants her is the greatest sin a woman can commit - except being there when he doesn't want her.
Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.
A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her.
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.
After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.
A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.
Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.
The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.
There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.
Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.
