Being healthy is the crown that only the sick can see. A lot of times, we take it for granted.
Hasan Minhaj
My dad's from that generation like a lot of immigrants where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay this thing like the American dream tax: like you're going to endure some racism, and if it doesn't cost you your life, well hey, you lucked out. Pay it; there you go, Uncle Sam. I was born here, so I actually had the audacity of equality.
Donald Trump does not touch alcohol, which is really respectable. But think about that. That means every statement, every interview, every tweet - completely sober.
When you grow up as a minority in a majority culture, a lot of times, you're just trying to fit in.
Racism has a very quick expiration date when exposed to actual contact with people.
Funny and sad are two sides of the same coin. I think that most comedians are able to tap into deep subject matter.
I feel like every conversation with my father is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie; 90 minutes of build-up to no payoff.
I'm addicted to chocolate chip cookies. I mean that seriously. If there are chocolate chip cookies, I will devour them.
You can hear my opinion on various subjects, but telling my story is the most authentic thing I can do. There's nothing more powerful I can share with an audience.
My dad was the only son from his entire family to come to America, and I was his only son. We had come to the States to achieve security and success for our family. Rules were simple: No fun, no friends, no girls. Go to school, come home, and study.
The movies 'Dope' and 'Straight Outta Compton' blew me away. I love seeing directors and writers of color make amazing slices of pop culture.
My mom works at the VA; she's been working at the VA for 15 plus years, and yet she's helping so many veterans coming back from brown Muslim countries, and my mom treats them. It's this weird - sometimes I feel torn. It's this dual identity. I'm so proud to be American, and at the same time, I disagree with our foreign policy.
I've found the 90-10 rule to be pretty true: 90 percent of what I come up with and write down is kinda 'eh,' and then somehow, someway, 10 percent of it happens to work out really great in my act.
The 'Homecoming King' show started off as a storytelling show that I had done; I worked with Greg Walloch to develop it and build it into something bigger.
Beena and I didn't move in together until we got married.
I think the best comedians have that bravery and courage to say, 'This is what it is. This is unfair; that's not cool.'
If it's just me on stage telling stories for, like, an hour, that's great. That's fine. But like a sandcastle on the beach, it gets washed away at night. It's so much more powerful if we can all share our narratives and doorstep moments and make us feel a little less alone. I'm just trying to use social media and new media as a way to capture that.
Sean Spicer has somehow been doing PR since 1999, which is 18 years. Somehow, after 18 years, his go-to move was denying the Holocaust.
Donald Trump doesn't care about free speech. The man who tweets everything that enters his head doesn't care about the amendment which lets him do that.
If you and I believe two different things, I can attack you verbally all day, but if I can make you laugh and show you the absurdity of your argument, it will lower you guard. People let you in then.
I like to have straight-up black coffee, but when you get it, sometimes you'll burn your tongue, or it spills on your hands, and you get third degree burns. I happen to be the kind of human being who doesn't want to sue coffee companies for money, so I just say, 'Hey, can you give me some coffee, but can you also give me like, eight ice cubes.'
When you have friends that are Muslim, Jewish, gay, from any marginalized group, you realize that they are so much more than this esoteric talking point.
'CNN Tonight' should just be called 'Wait a second! Now hold on! Stop yelling at each!' with Don Lemon.
A lot of times, especially when it comes to political debates, people get caught up in esoteric statistics. So the realest thing I can do that has nothing to do with numbers is tell you my personal experience.
I'm a first-generation kid in this country. I so identify with America and its culture. I'm a citizen, I was born here. I'm American. At the same time, like most first-generation kids, I have this other identity to another country back home, which is India.
There are definitely some set topics I go onstage with and want to talk about, but there's also an element of improvisation and spontaneity that I like to bring to each performance and talk about uniquely in that room.
I was actually a really sort of nervous, shy kid. In high school, it was one of those things where I wasn't popular or a loser; I just don't think many people really knew who I was.
The day-to-day microaggressions that we all face, yeah, you have to let some stuff slide, or you go, 'I gotta keep moving; there's bigger fish to fry.' It's something that I still deal with. But I've tried to have the audacity of equality and to follow my heart in those moments where I feel like something is wrong.
I exist in this hyphen. I'm an Indian-American-Muslim kid, but am I more Indian, or am I more American? What part of my identity am I?
Everything isn't breaking news. You can't go to DEFCON One just because Sanjay Gupta found a new moisturizer.
I've learned to start from a really sound argument, boil down the essence of what you're trying to say, then build your humor around that, rather than starting with, 'This sounds funny,' and going from there.
I can't emphasize how important free speech is to a liberal and free democracy.
If you want a great replacement, like, who can follow Barack and still have that swag, that charisma, that charm and be historic - I think it would be Tina Fey for president.
Political culture has become popular culture.
We shouldn't get lost in the bombastic tweets of Trump. He provides such great fodder every day. You don't want to lose sight of the other stuff that's going on that's even more important.
When you can tailor your act, you want it to be about yourself but also about the people in the room and the experience you guys are having in that moment; it is really a special thing.
I call my style Classic Americana Swag. I do my vibe, and I'll throw in a cool sneaker here or there, a pair of Js.
As satirists, we get to stand on the sidelines of life and comment on what's happening.
I love air conditioning and Starbucks.
I just started the way most comics start, doing open mic shows around Sacramento and San Francisco, and eventually, I moved to L.A. After about four or five years in L.A., I got the call to join the 'The Daily Show.'
Only in America can the first-generation Indian American Muslim kid get on the stage and make fun of the president.
My mom worked at the VA for years, so any time I can do anything to help, it's a must.
Jokes for jokes' sake are kind of meaningless to me. I understand the value of them, but it doesn't speak to me as much. You can lace your argument with jokes, but tell me why you're presenting this argument. What does it mean?
I'm a big believer in doing everything you can and everything in your power to change the outcome. But health is one of those things you can't control, and it's a very scary thing for me.
J. Cole's 2014 'Forrest Hills Drive.' The album, artwork, and director of that album was a huge influence on the visuals for 'Homecoming King.'
I grew up in a pretty strict household in the sense that we just didn't have cable, so I wasn't familiar with what stand-up comedy was. I remember telling my friends that I thought stand-up comedy was like the thing that happened before the episode of 'Seinfeld.'
U.S.A. Today is what happens when the coupon section takes over the newspaper.
There's all sorts of terrible things that happen around the world. And comedy's one of those few things where you can discuss those things.
My favorite comedians are just presenting an argument, and they're doing it in a funny way.
People still assume the White House Correspondents' Association works for the White House, when in reality, it's a group of journalists who cover the White House. It's a branding thing, but because it has the 'White House' before it, people think they're just King Joffrey's goons.
