Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.
Gary Lineker
I'm not that moody. I don't have big ups and downs.
This is ludicrous. Seven- and eight-year-olds valiantly trying to cover the same acreage as those grown-up chaps in the Premier League is absurd. To add to the lunacy, a little goalkeeper, barely out of nappies, has to stand between posts that are eight strides apart - adult strides - and under a crossbar more than twice his height.
I think medically, football is generally well looked after. There are always checks made. Anything which can be done to make footballers or sportsmen of any area safer has to be encouraged.
It's true: a lot of sportspeople really struggle to find something to do when they finish. It tips them into all sorts of strange things. With ex-footballers, it's really scary. I think 70% of them get divorced within five years. It's hard. You go from being really famous to not that famous. Your salary drops through the floor.
My eldest son George had acute myeloid leukaemia when he was a tiny baby, he is now 20 and doing very well. He is a mini-miracle in many ways.
I try to avoid saying 'fantastic' too often and 'obviously' is a dangerous word for all broadcasters.
Not many players would turn down a chance to play for Real Madrid and Barcelona, as they're right at the top the tree in terms of football.
The treatment by some towards these young refugees is hideously racist and utterly heartless. What's happening to our country?
There is Twitter outrage at everything. Be it a pair of trousers or a short skirt, somebody, somewhere, will not like it.
If you are at the top in entertainment, you earn money that you can never justify to ordinary people doing proper jobs. You can't.
Ferrari or Lamborghini. Never fancied one of those - too flash for me. I don't really like seeking too much attention.
We have got too many kids around the house to have a romantic meal at home. But Danielle is a fantastic cook. She does a brilliant lasagne, great roasts and a great chilli dish. She knows the way to my heart.
I've known Mark Hughes for half a lifetime. We joined Barcelona in the same summer of 1986, played together under Terry Venables and Luis Aragones, and have kept in touch ever since.
The whole kiss-and-tell thing is a negative approach that often happens in a World Cup. We will see negative stories about the players and it can affect their confidence and the overall performance of the national team on the pitch, let alone the bid to actually stage the competition.
The possibility that a provincial town could win the League completely bucks the trend.
Most of my best games were when I felt crap - I could hardly move on the morning of the World Cup semi-final in 1990 - but there's a thing called adrenaline that gets you through.
In the time I spent with him, Jurgen Klopp was enigmatic, larger than life, and extremely quick-witted. He is quite unique as a football manager in many ways, and that is what makes him so entertaining.
That's what being a footballer is, really: you train at this time, you finish at that time, then you do that, then you go home, then you're not allowed out, then you do this... there comes a point in your career - about thirty, thirty-one - when you get a bit sick of being screamed at.
When I see old photos of me on the beach I don't look too bad... but it's hard trying to breathe in for such a long time when I spot the photographers!
In my day, I wasn't the best footballer, but I was the best goalscorer for two or three years.
I think if I'd ever had any skeletons in the closet, they'd have been out a long time ago.
Personal records are not what football is all about, but as goalscorers, we live and die by figures and numbers because, ultimately, that's how people will judge you.
The two centre-backs, Rob Huth and Wes Morgan, are in many ways journeyman pros, but they have that wonderful attitude and never-say-die spirit that has culminated in them being top of the league.
Ooh, it's too embarrassing to share my innermost romantic secrets - although I have written Danielle the odd poem. If anything they are more comedic than romantic. They used to be well-received but that was before she started studying Shakespeare at drama college. Now I feel so inept.
Fundamentally, footballers don't look around a dressing room and think, 'He's a black player... he's Japanese.' They don't think like that. They think, 'He's a good player; he can help. He's not very good.' I'm not trying to defend anyone's actions, but there are going to be isolated incidents because it's an emotive, passionate sport.
On TV, if you fluff your lines, nobody gives a toss. But if you fluff a penalty in the World Cup, well - we all know how much that matters.
In this country, since footballs made from pigs' bladders were whacked into goals without nets, we've played on full-size pitches. Whatever our age.
The train's always full of football fans going up to see matches. Oh, they make sure I hear their points of view all right. They all want to have their say about their team, and make their opinions known.
I sort of fall apart in terms of stamina after about 25 minutes!
I know I could never be in a pop band. I honestly have an appalling voice.
People make mistakes. They say stupid things.
My fiancee's brother-in-law was recently paralysed in an accident and it really brought home the fact that thousands of young people live with spinal injuries. It's an issue I wish had more coverage.
I've now been in over 100 adverts for Walkers, and we've had a lot of laughs along the way.
Twitter has been a godsend for travelling.
My wife Danielle and I love travelling, different cultures and good weather.
I was quite good at football once, although other than that my speciality would be maths. I'm great at sudokus and find all the spin-off games pretty easy too.
Feel ashamed of my generation. We've let down our children and their children.
I hear it all the time in the street: 'It's the crisp bloke.'
People have no idea how hard football is, absolutely no idea. It's all about pace. You can say, 'Yeah, you've got speed of thought' - but you've got to have a little bit of a zip.
Being called Gary. It's a crap name. I wish I'd been called by my middle name, Winston.
Football matters so much to people, and they get very defensive - or angry.
People are fed up with the way things are. There is a lot of bitterness out there, a lot of anger about a lack of jobs and concerns for the next generation.
I was only interested in scoring goals. I wasn't interested in anything else.
I don't think there was a definite day, but it would have been around my mid-20s. I was always interested in the media side of things. When we travelled with England away, or to World Cups, I used to sit with journos while they wrote their copy.
Playing football and presenting TV are totally different things, but there are similarities: it's exciting, it can go well, it can go badly... the difference is when presenting goes badly, it doesn't really affect anyone's life, whereas when you have a bad day on the pitch, it affects people's moods for a whole week.
I've quite often written tweets that I think are across that line, but I just delete them.
That's one of the magical things about the Olympics, Team GB will have someone challenging in a sport that we've never watched and all of a sudden it'll be the biggest thing ever.
Looking at the way the game is played, I'm envious of the conditions. We played on some ropey World Cup surfaces. I genuinely never look back and wish I earned the money they do today, but I do think of that element.
The truth is I don't feel too bad for my age. I actually have a better shape now than I used to.