You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.
Flip Wilson
The devil made me do it.
My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.
If I could marry my motorcycle, I'd roll her right up to the altar.
Violence is a tool of the ignorant.
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.
Funny is an attitude.
The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
I tell fans who ask me why I'm not doing comedy anymore that I'm a different person. I've grown and I've matured. I've made a transition to where I really want to be.
I've had all that you could ask for. The fat lady has sung, and there's a standing ovation.
Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.
When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.
Most drag impersonations are a drag. But women can like Geraldine, men can like Geraldine, everyone can like Geraldine.
I have the bug again. I'm expecting the response to seeing the show again on Nick to be very good, and this will set the groundwork for what I want to do.
Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.
I accomplished what I set out to do. I wanted the whole cookie, and I got it. Now I want to spend more time with my children - make sure they don't go through what I did.
I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.
Everyone in this house and the houses next door knows when I'm in the sauna because I start singing, and I sing the blues when I'm in a really good mood. I have a really loud voice, you know.
Variety shows didn't disappear; it was the caliber of the artists, the classic vaudevillians that have passed on. They are gone, so there's a different caliber performer that's come along that hasn't had the time to work in the small clubs and get the experience.
I study a lot of philosophy. I want to be an example of how to enjoy this success, and that's exactly what I've done. I've enjoyed every moment.
I have my outlet for my humor through my characters, and I also have the intimacy of rapport with my fans that allows me to explain my philosophy and spirituality.
My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.
It's later than it's ever been.
My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?
After having seen the job done on that first show of mine, I realized that I felt like I wanted to work again for a short while. Two, three years, then stop.
Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.
It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV.
The secret of my success with Geraldine is that she's not a putdown of women. She's smart, she's trustful, she's loyal, she's sassy.
I told CBS, 'My career is going down the toilet, and you're pulling the chain.'
I think Mr. Wilson will have to be the rest of the way alone.
A show hosted by a black had never been accepted, so the first time that knob's turned on, people are judging against all they have ever been taught. I may have been the first black in the house.
