Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
Evan Esar
Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
