A thief believes everybody steals.
E. W. Howe
The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.
A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.
A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.
Instead of loving your enemies - treat your friends a little better.
Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
The greatest humiliation in life, is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.
When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.
To be an ideal guest, stay at home.
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.
Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.
The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home.
Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism.
Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist.
Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.
Every successful person I have heard of has done the best he could with the conditions as he found them, and not waited until next year for better.
None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.
There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night's sleep.
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
A man will do more for his stubbornness than for his religion or his country.
A theory is no more like a fact than a photograph is like a person.
The most destructive criticism is indifference.
No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.
It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.
It may be a cold, clammy thing to say, but those that treat friendship the same as any other selfishness seem to get the most out of it.
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.
A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.
When a man has no reason to trust himself, he trusts in luck.
The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.
Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.
For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.
The average man's judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.
Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.
There is always a type of man who says he loves his fellow men, and expects to make a living at it.
Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.
When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine that he is polite all the time.
You needn't love your enemy, but if you refrain from telling lies about him, you are doing well enough.
Everyone suffers wrongs for which there is no remedy.
What people say behind your back is your standing in the community.
When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.
A modest man is usually admired, if people ever hear of him.
The underdog often starts the fight, and occasionally the upper dog deserves to win.
The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in.
Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.
People are always neglecting something they can do in trying to do something they can't do.