If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.
Carlos Mencia
The weight loss came about because a buddy of mine who was diagnosed with diabetes because of his obesity told me that I was fat. And I started laughing, and he was like, 'No seriously, you're fat.' And I said, 'Oh wow, really.'
I have 11 sisters and 6 brothers.
It's not hard to lose weight.
Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he wants, but I'm telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something - 'How dare you!' I totally think it's unfair.
If I've got a black joke, and I can't tell it in Oakland, then I shouldn't tell the joke anywhere else.
I can't imagine how unbelievable it would be to go to the Great Barrier Reef.
I'm like most people in America. I'm conservative on some things, and I'm liberal on other things.
One of the better moments in life is when you get your own car.
My birth name is Ned Mencia.
Is it my fault that there is a stereotype that black people are not good swimmers? I know that's a joke, but somebody will say, 'I can't believe you would say that.' Well, first of all it's just a joke, and second of all if you watch the Olympics, black people win medals in jumping, running. They don't win any in swimming.
The beauty of not growing up middle class is that you don't think like the middle class. You don't have anything to protect, you know what I mean?
My ancestry is really weird, because my great grandfather was from the Cayman Islands, and then his father was from England. But I lose track at that point.
I was never one of those fat-victim people. I always have to address how much weight I lost, and people always realize then how fat I was.
I don't do anything out of negativity anymore.
The beauty of comedy is, when people come to a comedy club, there is a certain veil of reality suspended.
I choose to live in a positive world and a positive presence.
The United States of America on our worst day is better than any other country on their best day. Period. End of story.
I never want to forget that my job is to make people laugh.
I always knew I was going to lose weight.
Some people want to live in a world much prettier than the one I depict. But it exists, and I talk about it because it exists.
People live in a place called Tornado Alley - and they're surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I'm sorry when they get hit by tornadoes, but when you live in Tornado Alley you can't really claim surprise.
Here's what I know about the business I am in. It's all based on money. It's all based on ratings.
If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects, poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that.
Guys like Rogan literally want to ruin my career. That's unbelievably cruel and hurtful, and I never want to be that guy.
I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh.
I worked as a comedian for 23 years, 51 weeks a year.
I know I'm funny.
At the end of the day, my career is not going to be judged by one or two or three moments in time. It'll be judged by the longevity of it.
When I was younger, I was angry. I was boisterous and loud. I was on top of the mountain, screaming at everybody, 'Look at me!' Now I'm more of a Taoist.
I'm just trying to be funny, trying to make people laugh, and trying to make the world a better place through some jokes. I don't have words for it. It's so overwhelming.
When the comedy community turned on me, I had a lot of reflecting to do.
I'm a spiritual person: I believe that if you read the Bible, you get what you want from it. But, when you actually read it, you see the beauty, spirituality, the joy and love, and what makes us godly.
On stage, I'm really, really tall. I'm five-foot-9, but on stage, I'm, like, six-foot-5.
I am frail like everyone else, and I take that into account when I talk about things.
We don't grow as human beings from good things happening. We grow from failures.
If you don't like your job, then change it by getting some better skills. Until then, shut up and get my burger with a smile, like in the commercials.
I get really nervous at auditions. I know how to make people laugh, but auditions just really make me nervous.
I don't want to go on stage with anger. And that's why I worked so hard to look within and change myself and evolve.
My favorite place is Maui. It's almost perfect there - the people, the weather, just everything. No matter how busy you are, when you get to Maui, you chill and relax.
The word 'epiphany' gets thrown around, but truly, the first time I stepped on stage, I had that moment of clarity. I realized God gave me a gift, and this gift is to make people laugh, and this gift should not be wasted on trying to configure some electrical components.
I've dated many women at the same time. But I told them. I didn't keep any secrets from them.
In this pessimistic world, especially in America, a positive outlook is very necessary.
When I tell a joke, I immediately know whether it's funny or not.
For me, it's always better to tell people the truth, because people can accept the truth.
I believe that my part to play in this world is stand-up.
I had one guy say, 'I watched your show and didn't agree with what you said.' And I'm like, 'It's a joke. How could you not agree? I can understand you saying it's not funny.' But it's like my going onstage and doing a knock-knock and somebody going, 'I disagree. There's no door here.'
I am a sponge. I don't write things down.
If the worst thing happening to Middle Eastern people is that Carlos Mencia is doing a joke about them being stopped at airports, that's a pretty awesome state of affairs.
I could always talk about being a Latino and having a Mexican mom and a Honduran dad and being from Honduras. That was always an easy go-to place. But on the other hand, it was a crutch.
