A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
Carl Reiner
Every morning, I would actually look at the obituaries before I had breakfast. And as a joke I said if I was not in it, I would have the breakfast.
The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.
Even failures can turn into something positive if you just keep going. I wrote a television pilot called 'Head of the Family.' CBS didn't want it. It was considered a failure. But we reworked it. A year later, it became 'The Dick Van Dyke Show.'
I served in World War II in our fight to defeat fascism.
Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.
I know Samantha Bee, and I know she's not a racist or anything.
'The Dick Van Dyke Show' was my labor of love. When asked the best thing I ever did - that was it. I wrote it originally for myself.
It's like a bird. If he knew what he was doing, he would fall.
You can get the best out of people if they're happy and not worried or not frightened that they're going to make a mistake.
The key to longevity is to interact with other people.
Going through war and living is a very important process. You realize how vulnerable you are and how lucky you are to be in the right place at the right time. As a matter of fact, I have a history of luck.
I think that comedy really tells you how it is. The other thing about comedy is that - you don't even know if you're failing in drama, but you do know when you're failing in comedy. When you go to a comedy and you don't hear anybody laughing, you know that you've failed.
If you write, write about what you do and who you are, and you can't be wrong. Don't lie about anything. You are very similar to everybody else in the world. You love, you hate, you have friends, you have enemies. Be who you are.
Everybody wants to laugh - you know that. They need to laugh... people need to laugh.
'New Girl' is funny. I love Zooey Deschanel. She's the most charming thing around.
I've done everything I've wanted to do. I have three children, I have grandchildren, I have books, I did movies, I've directed movies; I've done almost everything I've wanted to do.
I wrote three books about growing up in the Bronx.
I've seen the invention of television and performed on television even before my family owned one.
My parents loved comedies, so we saw Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin, the Ritz Brothers, and the Marx Brothers. I wanted to be one of them.
'Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid' was my favorite of all the things I ever did, because it was like doing a Sunday crossword puzzle and beating it.
I need to see a woman president in my lifetime. Or the first Jewish president.
If you can get a laugh out of a name, you're ahead of the game.
I've lived through the Great Depression.
A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.
People ask me where I get my vitality, and to tell you the truth, I don't have a clue.
When I was 20-something, 30, I fell down a flight of stairs and hurt my back. I went to a therapist who said don't get out of bed until you do certain stretches, and I've been doing them ever since. I guess I'm the original yogi.
I figure I'm just one of many people. I'm not that different from anybody else, and I don't have great language, highfalutin' language - I'm very ordinary. So I figure if I write about myself, other people with similar feelings and experiences would go, 'Oh, that's me.'
There's nothing more satisfying than having an idea and seeing it through to find out that, not only did you like it, but the audience and critics all seemed to agree.
It's one thing for a father to say, 'Oh, my son is great.' But to have others say it - that's the true reward. Robbie's one of the smartest people I know. He's made such fantastic movies.
Anybody who tells a very big lie is paid attention to. If you say, 'Shakespeare could not write. He was illiterate,' everybody says, 'Well, what do you know that we don't?' That's what Trump does all the time.
I'm a charming coward; I fight with words.
The death of your beloved is the hardest time of all.
I love tweeting.
