Tank you veddy much.
Andy Kaufman
What's real? What's not? That's what I do in my act, test how other people deal with reality.
I'm from Hollywood. That's where we make movies and TV shows... I'm not from down here in men-fus ten-uh-see, okay?
I thought Doodyville was inside of the television. You know, like, if television was this box - and if I went inside the box that was a television, I'd be in Doodyville.
There's no way to describe what I do. It's just me.
If I was going to be a little boy about it, I'd go into hiding for one or two years. But if I was going to be a man about it, it'd be 20 or 30 years.
I never told a joke in my life.
I'm having everything. I'm a vegetarian, too. But in my mother's house, I eat whatever I'm served.
I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut - or get angry from the gut.
I'm just singing a song, and if people want to laugh, that's their business.
Clifton and I don't even look alike. He smokes and drinks, and I do neither. He's a big fat guy, and if it weren't for me, no one would know who he is.
Every time my manager approached big network executives or even cable, they told him I was too dangerous. They couldn't trust me.
There's no drama like wrestling.
I would like to do the Elvis Presley.
I'm an open book.
The more they hate you, the better you're doing.
It's not that I was crazy. It's just that I was sad at times because the world was sad at times. When I would perform, it wasn't sad anymore.
Pure entertainment is not an egotistical lady singing boring songs onstage for two hours and people in tuxes clapping whether they like it or not. It's the real performers on the street who can hold people's attention and keep them from walking away.
While all the other kids were out playing ball and stuff, I used to stay in my room and imagine that there was a camera in the wall. And I used to really believe that I was putting on a television show and that it was going out to somewhere in the world.
Any wrestler who will piledrive Lawler and injure him like he did me gets five thousand dollars from me!
My mother sent me to psychiatrists since the age of four because she didn't think little boys should be sad. When my brother was born, I stared out the window for days. Can you imagine that?
If I play my cards right, I could bring network wrestling back to TV. Unfortunately, to most people, wrestling is a laughingstock. But fortunately, I'm reaching people who otherwise wouldn't watch it.
When I perform, it's very personal. I'm sharing things I like, inviting the audience into my room.
I just want the audience to have a wonderful, happy feeling inside them and leave with big smiles on their faces.
My parents would say, 'Why don't you go out and play?' and I would say, 'I can't! I'm putting on my shows!'
