My life experience has made me realise what's important and what is not.
Andrew Strauss
People much prefer to feel part of something and that they're appreciated and wanted, that their voice actually holds some sway, rather than just having someone barking orders at them.
I'm most proud of a couple of things. Firstly what we managed to do with the team from 2009 to get them to win the Ashes in Australia. That was remarkable. And secondly moving England forward in white-ball cricket because that is where the game is going and we need to be at the vanguard.
This perception that a good captain is someone who beats his chest and roars like a lion and gives big Churchillian speeches, that's just not what leadership is about for me.
Some really good players are coming out of county cricket. Better preparation, and looking after yourself physically are things that counties should still have to strive for. Also, the volume of county cricket is still far too high. I'd definitely like less county cricket.
We are a high-performance environment and guys being professional about how they prepare for games is not something that should be frowned upon. It should be expected of players.
We have to find a way to get the two forms of the game co-existing - and that involves administrators sitting down and banging their heads together and working out a framework. I understand the politics but I'm more interested in what's best for the game.
I tie my wedding ring around my neck with an old shoelace. It's to remind me of why I play cricket: for my family - my wife Ruth and my boys Sam and Luca.
Until you go through a bereavement, you don't know how you will cope. What we have found out is that life is completely different. The foundations that you have been building all your life are knocked down.
If you look at English cricketers since the turn of the century, less than a handful have better records away from home than at home. So if everyone in our team is significantly worse away from home, the likelihood is the team as a whole will be significantly worse.
I can understand the argument that the captain should always be there to lead from the front.
I think there will be one overarching coach for Tests and one-day cricket. I think you need one person in control and in charge of that environment. Also it's important for people to know I am not going to be playing a tracksuited role. The execution of strategy is over to the captain and coach as it always has been.
The way you speak to a team is very important - both before a Test and during the game itself. If you try and do things on the run then people will quickly see through you. You're also never going to say anything that profound and so it's important to come up with new angles.
There is a real danger that kids won't engage with cricket when there are so many other opportunities to use their time in other sports, not to mention video-gaming, and generally long-form cricket doesn't turn them on.
We've always got to look for opportunities for our English coaches to get more experience than just doing county coaching gigs. They need to do more than that if they're going to be viable candidates for England jobs going forward.
I still remember my quote from the 2007 World Cup, when I said scoring two threes was as good as hitting a six. That was me trying to justify what you couldn't. To me, and this was before I became director of cricket, we just couldn't do that again.
I still have ambition to captain England into the 2011 World Cup. I'm very keen to do that job.
The only two times we have peaked above world average is when we got to No. 1 in the world in 2011 and when we got to No. 2 in the world in 2004 under Michael Vaughan.
I always thought we ought to recognise the blood, sweat and tears - and the sacrifices in being away from home - of former England players, and that current players should know what has come before.
Winston Churchill inspired my leadership philosophy. I've read a huge number of his writings, especially his diaries from the Second World War. His thoughts on leadership and duty have helped me as England captain.
I had to stop being a student idiot and become more sensible and organised and that definitely improved my batting. I also reacted far more quickly to situations in Test cricket because I'd been a county captain. It made a huge difference.
In 50over cricket there are different ways of playing. It's not all about smacking it over the top. It's important someone bats through the innings. That would be one of the options for me.
I wouldn't rule out the idea of four-day Test cricket, if we can get the playing conditions right and the right circumstances it might be a good thing in some parts of the world.
You can rule by fear but it's not a great motivation for people.
I think it's hard for one coach to do all the formats all the time, and there are a limited number of coaches who have done the hard yards already. You can have head and assistant coaches for each squad.
After time away it always makes you realise how special it is to play for England and what an honour it is.
When you're managing a team the key is, I guess, to find where those boundaries are, where you're prepared to let people go, to what extent you're allowing them to be a free spirit because ultimately it's all got to be in the greater cause which is making sure the team wins cricket games.
We should be far more flexible about the way we play our cricket away from home. We can't just presume that what works at home will work away. We need to be more flexible and creative both in the way we play and the way we select.
When I arrived at Middlesex I was the only guy who'd been to public school and I got plenty of stick. But it wasn't held against me for long.
I have to accept that my role is to gather the runs slowly. Kevin Pietersen is flamboyant, but that style doesn't work for me.
We know the Victorian way of dealing with death, which was not dealing with it. You'll never get over it but having the support of a counsellor who has been there hundreds of times is so important, to help you develop strategies to cope.
I was forced to learn a lot about psychology as a player, and as a captain to get the best out of others. There's still a lot of scepticism about it in sport and the workplace, but dealing with fluctuations of form, and pressure, and being away from home are more important than your cover-drive.
It's incredible to watch how our cricket clubs depend on volunteers.
We all live in this little bubble that we just expect to live forever and I think those of us that have been with people battling cancer, you realise, actually, this surrounds us everywhere we go.
I have to watch my language. I think a lot about the words I use in both the public environment and the dressing room. The language you use is a direct insight into how you are feeling.
Cricket is not rocket science. Bowlers often get wickets through perseverance, accuracy and being patient rather than trying to blast opposition teams out.
I'm happy unless I'm not happy. And I think this is the thing with grief, there is no rhyme or reason to it and it's been completely different to how I thought it was going to be.
I think you grieve different elements, you grieve your wife who's gone, you grieve the fact she had cancer and you had to watch her die, you grieve the fact the life you built isn't going to be the same as the one going forward. All these different elements hit you at different times.
In the cricket world, with a lot of little issues that people are getting in a tizz around, I'm just like: Don't worry about it.
If someone has cancer, it's not just them who has cancer - it's everyone around them as well and it's tough.
I played a very background role in terms of trying to get the environment together but Eoin Morgan and Trevor Bayliss have done a great job.
This whole quest to win the 2019 World Cup, that was my job when I was director of England cricket.
Grief is a bit of a journey, and it is evolving all the time but I am very functional.
If you think about the practical difficulties of having a relationship with somebody on the other side of the world, it defies all logic.
That's what sport can do to you: it gives you a lot of heartache and pain, and sometimes the ultimate rewards.
I don't want to overplay the diary's significance, but it's a really helpful batting aid. It's not an obsession because I don't spend more than 10 or 20 minutes writing a day - and not necessarily every day. I might write in it three days in a row and then not the next four. It depends on the situation.
But there are definitely times when I just need to write to clarify my thoughts and put any doubts to bed.
So I never forget how lucky I am. That's the reason above all else why I'm determined to keep enjoying cricket, whatever the wins or the losses. As long as I do that then the runs will come.
If we broaden the audience for cricket, more people will be interested in all forms, then TV rights and sponsors and crowds will follow.
There is no reason why cricket shouldn't be the number one alternative to football. And at a time when there are obvious divisions in society, cricket has a great role to play in bringing people together from all sorts of diverse backgrounds and faiths.
