Am I happiest on the farm or out in the middle? I am a cricketer, but the farm is a very special place and I absolutely love being in the countryside and getting away from the bubble. I like to think I'm a farmer, but there's so much experience that goes into that.
Alastair Cook
I'm a country boy at heart. I love it when you've got your boots on and you're standing in three inches of cow muck.
It's surreal to think that no one has played as many Test matches for England. I suppose it's a credit to my longevity.
I think my general view of day-night Test cricket is that there is definitely something there that the ICC can keep looking at because it moves the game forward with timing and allows more people to come and watch.
Self-belief is certainly an issue you need to make sure you look after when you've lost heavily in two games.
My girlfriend comes from a farming background and I spend a lot of time at her farm doing farming stuff. When you're pulling lambs out, or weighing them or worming them or doing whatever you do to sheep you're not thinking about Brett Lee.
People like Mo Ali, Jos Buttler, Ben Stokes, Joe Root, they are looking to take attack to the opposition and that's when they play their best.
I miss being the focal point of the team - the guy everyone looks to for decisions. And guidance.
It does take a lot of effort to perform, playing for England. It's a huge amount of sacrifice to do and one day I might just wake up and say 'you know what, I'm done with it.'
If someone taps me on the shoulder and tells me they don't want me to open the batting for England, it's going to hurt.
If you have lost matches and not played to potential, criticism will come your way. Critics and media will say what they see and take you on. They will say things which you might not like to hear. But that's professional sport.
In one sense, what happens for me outside of cricket gives me that break - the farming means I have a really different life outside of cricket; it's not just cricket, cricket, cricket for 12 months of the year.
You're there to score runs. If you don't do that over a period of time, people will look elsewhere. That hasn't changed and that'll never change, whether it's myself or Jimmy Anderson, you've got to play to a certain level to be picked for England or even Essex.
I think I come back to Essex and fit in pretty well but until you get there you don't know.
When you're playing, every ball seems like the biggest event. When you're sitting back, you can see the overall picture better.
I love cricket but I like being away from it as well.
Even when every Tom, Dick and Harry was calling for my head, I still felt I could get better at being captain.
I have achieved more than I could have ever imagined and feel very privileged to have played for such a long time alongside some of the greats of the English game.
When I first came into the side as captain, I was accused of being quite conservative, quite negative, and just doing what Andrew Strauss did.
Without sounding arrogant, I achieved a lot more than I thought I would do.
You're either singing on TV or in front of a full cathedral and there's a bit of pressure there. I know it sounds funny but if you get used to doing it, then performing in front of people playing cricket is the same sort of thing.
I think a lot when I'm on my own - and much of it is about cricket.
The India series wasn't the only reason I retired. It was the culmination of 18 months where things had probably changed in my life.
The most important opinions to me are those that belong to the guys in the changing room.
Jonathan Agnew is a good person to learn off because he's a brilliant broadcaster and the calmness and clarity with which he does things is a real skill.
I am much more happy in a country pub with 10 blokes having a pint than going to a night club.
You need to come to terms with the fact that you are not an international cricketer anymore and that's certainly difficult to come to terms with. But then I love going to my farm and spending time with my family. Drop and pick up my kids from school and play cricket as well.
Learning on the job as England captain is hard.
The delight you feel in that split second you score your first hundred is so intense it can't be repeated.
I am hugely honoured and proud to be receiving a knighthood.
The atmosphere and the first days of Test matches against Australia are incredible.
Alex Hales has tightened up his game from South Africa and learned about Test cricket. It's great when you see someone who doesn't quite nail it, but goes away and works away at it, come back a person who understands more about Test cricket.
As cricketers we fail all the time. You score a hundred every now and again but you get out between nought and 20 far more often. If you get 50, you feel bad because you should have got a hundred. Even if you get a hundred, you feel you should have got 150. So you're always failing.
The musical training taught me to focus my mind, before playing in an orchestra taught me how to truly concentrate. If you miss your moment in an orchestra, there is no forgiving.
I suppose you could say I was always having to defend my style of captaincy. I did get a lot of criticism - some of it justified, other times as part of a tactic.
I love the individual sport stuff but the experiences I've had with some great people over 12 or 15 years are what makes is special. That individual thing: me versus the bowler is great but you get that team feeling as well and that's why it suits me so well.
Playing for England is such a huge honour - it should always remain that.
Nobody walks over me, ever, and no-one will walk over me, ever.
Throughout my career I have done it my way and used my stubborn streak. I thought the best way to captain was to shut out all the noise - I did it with my batting and thought 'that has served me well, so why change it?'
Sheep are never going to talk to you about cricket.
I think it's very hard to shake what people first think of you straightaway.
When I watch Twenty20 cricket, there's a different satisfaction. That hundred you get in six hours is a very satisfying feeling. A real triumph of skill. I don't quite see that in the 20-over game - or the 100-ball game.
The family farm plays such a big part in my life and I genuinely love going back there. In some ways I'd like to spend every day there, but there would be a big hole in my life if I didn't stay involved in cricket.
I don't think you have to be this macho man all the time, just because you play sport.
Sport is an entertainment, in one sense. But it's also a business.
If you play 100-odd Test matches, there's going to be little periods when you don't score runs, and I've always managed to turn it around.
In international cricket you have to thrive on the big stage, you have to deal with the media and the pressure.
Physically and mentally, it's quite hard. But I'm playing cricket for England. It's what I dream about doing.
From a purely selfish, batting point of view, I couldn't bat any better than the 2010-11 Ashes and then in India in 2012. That was as good as I could play.
Just because you're made England captain, it doesn't mean that you suddenly know everything about captaincy.
